e is for eliza

2009-11-03T13:50:00.002-05:00

I have discontinued this blog and have now combined both Eliza's and Ava's blog at: http://www.tobringherhome.blogspot.com/ Please stop by for the latest updates and pictures of both my beautiful daughters who are now FOREVER SISTERS, FOREVER FRIENDS!

2009-09-16T10:15:00.000-04:00

Eliza's got a new best friend...Barney, meet Winnie the Pooh!

So, I'm busy checking off my lists for China this a.m. and Eliza is sitting at the table next to me watching the (original) Pooh movie on this portable DVD player that I borrowed from my friend Marisa to take to China for Meiying. (I know, can you believe we don't have one of these?) Who knew Eliza would enjoy sitting here watching her own movie? She watched the entire movie last night too. Okay, well back to the list that keeps getting revised...just close the suitcase, Sarah. Be done! lol

2009-09-10T14:03:00.000-04:00

2009-09-03T09:30:00.003-04:00

First day back to school!
September 2, 2009

Ah...memories...
Last year's first day of school!
October 2008

...And the memory of how she matured in just the first month of school last year...
Last November 2008!

I've neglected Eliza's blog and I feel terrible.

Yesterday was Eliza's first day back to school.

Her teachers said she seemed happy to be back.

And that she picked the routine right up again.

There are 8 children in the class this year!

One other girl named Olivia...so Eliza and Olivia, how fun.

Let's hope that Olivia enjoys being as girly as Eliza.

Does she look a year older?

I can't believe it.

She looked so big coming down the school hallway yesterday afternoon.

I've been looking back at our China photos from 2006.

My goodness...has it been 3 years?

So, what am I going to do with my 6 hours of free time now?

Pack for China!!!!

Leaving 9/19...time to get busy.

2009-08-13T12:33:00.005-04:00

Eliza loves watching Super Why! these days

I know, 2 posts back-to-back?!
What else do you do on a rainy day?

My posts are always longgggg too.

I want to preface this by saying that Eliza is happy 99% of the time and so am I.

I said in the last post that Eliza has really matured.
She loves pushing the grocery cart w/ me and helping pick out all her favorite things or at least things that look familiar to her. She hasn't tried to run off down the aisle from me lately and she will wait patiently while I ponder over something. I'm actually enjoying shopping again.

She's been constantly vocally attempting to communicate. Most of it is jibberish, but it's purposeful and that's what matters. She is learning that power over her environment.

I've been talking more to her about my upcoming travel to China to bring home her sister. She's gotten quiet over this and I'm not sure if that's what the latest tears have been about or not. We've also reached a major nighttime issue. We added Ava's bed to "Eliza's" room (nka "girls' room"). She refuses to go in there and she refuses to sleep in there. Freaks out! Anyone w/ suggestions; any other AU mom's w/ suggestions too, I'd appreciate hearing it all. We've let her fall asleep downstairs, but she wakes as soon as we move her to her bed and freaks out again. So...she sleeps between us. We never allowed this w/ either of the older kids and we never allowed it w/ Eliza. Sleep deprivation made us cave in. She literally needs to be touching us all night. Help. A new type of sleep deprivation is now upon me from sleeping on the edge of the bed with 2 snoring people next to me.

I've had my own tears lately (as anyone who has been on the adoption journey can relate to). Whether it's the emotions of the end-stretch of this paper-pregnancy or just the quiet and yes, sometimes, lonely part of being a mother to a non-verbal child living in a body controled by autism. (I realize that motherhood can be lonely regardless and am not looking for sympathy, only to explain that sometimes I'm not as strong as I need to be.) So, a few times this summer, I've had my tears and have said out loud to Eliza that I'm tired, really tired, and sad and that I really wish she could talk to me...blah, blah, blah, whine, whine, whine. Really pitiful on my part I know and I'm ashamed. I've later caught her silently crying and when I've asked her what's the matter, I'M NOT KIDDING, she has said (over and over)..."Oh mama, I am...Oh mama. Oh mama, I do." Now, mind you, most of what Eliza says is not clear and for the most part, my ear has been trained to understand what she's saying, but these words have been clear as a bell.

Imagine what my heart feels when I've witnessed this? Guilt. Sorrow. Joy. Pride. Encouragement. God. Love. Peace.

She is amazing. I've tried to get it on video, but she clams up. Perhaps it's meant for my ears only and for my heart only. I love her so much.

2009-08-13T11:40:00.005-04:00

From a blog perspective,

I realize it looks like I've dropped off the planet since July.

Do I need to say that another blog has had me a bit preoccupied?

Still waiting for travel notice.

School begins 8/25 for Allie and Brendan.

School begins 9/2 for Eliza!

She's ready.

She's matured just this week.

She's also been very, very funny this week.

Discovered a new sensory output for Eliza

when everything gets to be too much.

Let her run barefoot in the grass w/mom running behind.

Pure JOY!! and renewed focus when we come back inside.

The little things makes so much sense.

Why do "we" over-complicate and over-stress

when she doesn't conform to our norms?

Imagine how we'd all feel after running barefoot in the grass.

Sometimes I think her norm is better and does have a purpose.

Many friends asked if I saw the 20/20 interview about Carly (autism related).

I didn't. I can't sometimes (my own demons). I did after-the-fact though.

Great insight.

Even went to Carly's blog and twitter site.

Read the questions and her responses

about why autism makes kids do certain things.

Afterwards, I gave Eliza a big hug and BIG, sloppy kiss.

Told her I loved her and was proud of her.

Another great insight from the book Strange Son

when her son finally began speaking.

"What were you doing all those years when you didn't speak?"

"I was listening."

Powerful.

When a person is non-verbal,

you do tend to talk as if they don't understand.

Imagine what Eliza learns every day that we don't even know yet.

Sometimes I realize that.

Sometimes she surprises me in HUGE ways.

I haven't taken many photos since July.

Camera has been on and off since dropping it in the mountains.

I tried to get some cute ones of Eliza dancing the other day.

She's a girl in motion most of the time.

I promise to get some of her at the pool.

She swims, she does splits under the water.

She loves the pool -- another place of pure JOY!

2009-07-23T17:53:00.006-04:00

Thursday thoughts:

Eliza did wonderful at speech therapy today w/ the use of a bowl of chips as a motivator (1 chip for each successful attempt at a sound). I think the teacher thought I was nuts, but hey, whatever works. Proud of my little girl!

Eliza really enjoyed hiking up Grandfather Mountain (NC). She was very purposeful in her foot placements and even pushed my hand away when I attempted to help her up or down onto some of the high rocks. I thought she'd hold us back from keeping up with the rest of the family, but she really motored along. These were very narrow, windy, rocky trails too! I told her I was proud of her and asked her if she liked hiking...a few minutes later, as clear as day, I heard her say "uh huh". I smiled to myself.

At the top, while waiting for the brave members of the family to return from crossing the Swinging Bridge (no thank you), I met a Chinese female dr. married to an american man. They just returned from Guilin, where Ava Meiying is, 3 weeks ago. She had previously practiced as a dr. working w/ some orphanages in Ava's province, Guangxi. Of course, she told Eliza that she is a very lucky girl. She was excited that we were going to adopt a 7 yo from Guilin. Don't you know I was sitting there wishing Ava was there to experience the vacation with us...and poof, up that man and woman walked! Do you think they were angels sent to tell me that Ava was there with us?

On top of that...10 minutes later, a couple walked up from Amarillo w/ a 6 and 7 yo from China. The younger daughter was adopted in '04 and they adopted the 7 yo last year as a waiting child (she had a brace on her lower leg, but still managed to make the hike). They were sweet and beautiful. They were excited that we were going back to China for a 7 year old too! I wish I had asked if they had a blog.

Eliza withdrew around my brother and his family and was quite content playing w/ Barney and some of the toys we brought off on her own, but overall, I think she had a very good time and had no problem taking in the cabin and change of routine. She thought it was funny that I was up on the top bunk enjoying my a.m. coffee one morning and tried so hard to climb the ladder herself. Once Daddy helped her up, she was full of herself and played up there by herself for about an hour!

Lastly, Hogan was amazing on his first vacation with the family. He was so quiet and well-behaved. He was super gentle w/ my 5 yo nephew who has a great fear of dogs. He even got my nephew to play ball w/ him. He was quite the site whever we went. Everyone had to stop and pet him along the hiking trails. He even had his photo taken by an asian family (ha, remember all the photos we'd take in China that I'm sure they wondered what was so special to merit a photo?); and by many other families. He was an inspiration for many people who were trying to conquer their fear of heights. They would stop and tell us that they saw Hogan sitting and almost looking right at them and it calmed them down as they made the trek. He is definitely going into training to be a service/therapy dog. It's his calling and he was so happy to be top dog for the weekend. You should've seen how sad he was when he came home and realized he was just a dog again. Oh, but we did find one imperfection: he gets car sick...it could've been the twisting road up thru the mountains of NC, but after 4 yacks up and 4 yacks back home...dramamine will be given next time.

The bunkhouse a/k/a cabin

Discovering the fun of the top bunk!

Hiking, having celebrity status and photo sessions is tiring!

Barney, mommy said you couldn't come hiking with us. It's not fair.

I should've had a sign hanging on Hogan that read:
Conquer your fears. Bridge walk assistant for hire!

Finally, back home and showered up...shiney, swinging hair!

And look who was there to greet us...she missed us!

2009-07-13T11:15:00.002-04:00

"Monday Moments" to share:

Eliza came and told me "bath" and led me to the bathtub this morning!

She responded to "no" several times over the weekend!

She's now taking off her own diaper when it's wet

(you know what comes next...wet carpets)!

When "someone" came in thru the front door and didn't remember to lock it behind them, twice Eliza scooted out the front door w/ a very satisfying grin on her face.

Both times (fortunately) she was caught in the act and managed to open the front door and come back inside when we said "no".

We're off to a good start for the week...

her chatter continues and now includes some repetitive vocal responses

(yes, please, thank you, hi)

2009-07-11T16:36:00.004-04:00

Eliza has had a very vocal week. Lots of what appears to be conversations with me. Here's a few videos of some major accomplishments just this week: responding to me about whether she needs a diaper change, followed up with getting me a clean diaper; and also the types of "conversations" we've had.

2009-07-07T09:39:00.006-04:00

This was the first year that Liza was awake for any July 4th fireworks and did she ever love it! Eliza sat on my lap, eyes as bright as ever. She giggled and pointed to the sky non-stop and clapped right along with me. A few times, she reached her tiny arm around behind my neck and gave me a backwards hug as tight as she could in shear joy. It was one of those moments of connection that I will treasure. She loved the fireworks. I was only worried, sensory-wise, for a minute because I also knew that she loves bright lights and colors and rythmic beats...so she proved me right!

The kitten is now separated from her mom and has been growing up in her new-temporary home on our screened porch until she joins her permanent family (friends of ours).

In the meantime, she loves watching Eliza jump on the trampoline and stalk Liza as she reads her magazines...and chew on Liza's toes... We've been spending lots of time on the screen porch shaded by the old red oaks and watching the kitty play!

Swimming...I've got to bring my camera. She is now swimming w/out a vest and tries so hard to keep a float. She loves to sit indian-style on the bottom of the 3 foot section and slowly release air (bubbles) from her mouth. She comes up from the bottom laughing away. She took water in her nose and didn't like it, but blew it out and then went back under. She's been really watching and mimicking the other children as they splash and dive and swim. It's been a fantastic couple of weeks of growth.

On July 4th, she actually was interracting w/ another 4 yo named Joseph at our pool. He is the cutest, funniest little boy. He's always played alongside Eliza for the past few years, but never really pushed his way into trying to play with her like some of the other 4 and 5 yo's are doing now (i.e. why doesn't she talk, why won't she play with me, why is she ignoring me...). It's been a sort of unspoken play between them. Well, on this particular day, he was telling his gramma and me to watch him as he went under water. So, Eliza started doing it along with him and I could see that she was opening her eyes under water and looking around in amazement. At one point, she pushed off from under water and "swam" to him and with arms extended out, reached for his hands. It was so neat. He laughed and did it back to her. Then she turned and did the same thing to me, poking me in the belly from under the water. She came up laughing. Another moment of connection that I will treasure.

Summer days...other than the pool, "we"'re enjoying my new obsession steam cleaning the carpets. I'm ocd about vacuuming every day so it's only fitting that I'd enjoy steam cleaning too. My carpets looks beautiful! We're riding bikes, jumping on the trampoline, reading books and speech therapy starts this week too. We're eating lots of summer veggies and my favorite, lettuce-tomatoe sandwiches...and playing with the kitty. I'm daydreaming a lot about Meiying and how it's all going to go when she we first meet (the good, the frightening and the grief) and about having her home. That's about it! ...Oh and I saw the Jersey Boy's production Sunday night w/ some of my girlfriends. It was fantastic! The Jersey language was a bit much, but the songs were fantastic. You forget how many hits Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons had. I could see it again.

2009-06-25T08:44:00.004-04:00

This is the 1 kitten that survived birth. Mama-cat has been a great mom. The kitten is about 3 weeks old and so tiny. That's my hand in the background just to show you how small it is. Kind of looks like a little skunk doesn't it? We know who the father is...he wanders around all the farms out here. He's friendliest tom-cat...he is black w/ a white tuxedo. Notice the resemblance! The mom (the famous cat of the "Ginger-kitty and Emma-the-hen" duo is a tortoiseshell w/ big, green eyes. This kitten has some tabby stripes to him that are going to make his markings so beautiful.

As for Eliza...

Been meaning to take the camera along to the pool for some updated photos and videos since that's where we're spending most of our time. Until I actually remember to put the camera in the pool bag, all I have to offer is this video.

I've been working on having Eliza acknowledge or respond to a question or request. She has been doing excellent in either sounding "yes" or "no" and/or shaking her head to respond. Let me tell you, as a parent to a non-verbal child, just getting an appropriate response (as in yes or no) is such a growth.

I was really worried about Eliza being away from school for the summer months and had to think long and hard about what I wanted to concentrate on with her during the summer. After a few days at the pool and noticing everyone saying "hi" or asking her questions, I decided to focus on helping others and Eliza get "focused" on one another (teaching them how to get into her space and get that response from Eliza and getting Eliza to feel comfortable enough to make the eye contact with them). She is doing great. She responds faster to me and still seems to randomly ignore some people while acknowledging others. That's another subject though because I truly believe that she is more in-tune with people than we realize and that she is picking up on some energy...

Anyway, pardon the summer pj's and bed-head in this video. I'm so proud of her!

2009-06-04T08:50:00.002-04:00

Eliza in June: Very deliberate, very opinionated...very communicative! She "told" me that I didn't buckle her into the car seat the other morning by saying "mama...MAMA" until I turned around from the front seat and she was pulling on the seat belt trying to do it herself. She "reminded" me to give her a vitamin this morning saying "mama" and pointing to the cabinet w/ a big smile. She's also been talking back to us in a sassy, too-big-for-her-britches way already trying to negotiate with us...sounds very chinglish and we don't know what she's saying other than understanding her tone and feistiness. She looks right into our eyes and leans her face forward (chin out) and tells you off. It's very funny. Eliza has been making lots of choices herself too(what cereal to eat, what to pack in her lunch...) and even what to buy at the grocery store. Much to Daddy and Allie's delight, she chose Fruit Loops and Corn Pops (yuck). And the other day, after getting her dressed, she picked out a different shirt and pushed it at me. I've been finding her dresser drawers open and certain pieces of clothing pulled out. Hmmm. Lastly...drum roll, she's been waking up dry and peeing on the potty in the a.m.

2009-05-24T08:46:00.004-04:00

Happy Memorial Day weekend and happy birthday Grandma!!

No more ponytails or chewing on my hair (well, ok, I can still put my hair in my mouth and mommy said that we might have to cut it shorter, but 4 inches off was good enough for now). Yes, I got a new summer haircut. And guess what else? Yesterday, our pool opened and I swam for 4 hours (not counting the annoying breaktimes when the lifeguards made me get out and rest, but at least I got to eat snacks then). It only took me one time to be reminded that I had to get out of the pool for breaktime. I screamed and kicked for about 5 seconds and mommy had to remind me that everyone gets out of the pool. The rest of the afternoon, when the lifeguard blew the whistle, I got right out. The water was really cold, but I got used to it. Even mommy came in and helped me learn to swim again. I practiced lots of jumping into the water while mommy helped me. I was also happy to see so many of my old friends. All the mom's kept saying that we've all grown so much...well, we are 4 now! I wasn't as shy this year and I made great eye contact with my friends and their mommys'. Everyone noticed and told me I was such a big girl. Mommy said that I mimicked and played and talked a lot and that I did really good. I even called out "mama" when I wanted something. It was a lot of fun! I can't wait to go to the pool again...today, right mommy?

2009-05-17T13:49:00.002-04:00

Tired of the videos? Here's some still photos of Eliza brushing her hair...to sleep. Look how tired and glazed over her eyes look. I can remember brushing and brushing my hair before I went to bed when I was a little girl. Actually, I was always brushing my hair... I found Eliza (unsolicited) brushing her hair the other night. It was really sweet. She let me snap pictures and then showed how she can now smile on command for the last picture. This moment came on the heels of a tough week; a very autistic week. She was very unfocused at school, distracted by her feet? Hitting her head a lot; major sleep issues... just an all around tough week. But today is Sunday and she is napping next to me on the couch at a nice early hour so I'm hoping and praying that next week the sun shines brighter on us!

2009-05-15T07:49:00.005-04:00

Been having busy days here. Nothing much to tell just day-to-day stuff. Winding down the school year w/ only 4 weeks left. The pool opens next weekend...I can't believe that the '08 school year is ending and that the '09 pool season is beginning.

Derek was invited by one of his customers to attend the BMW Golf Tournament in SC this week and while riding the bus from the parking lot to the golf course, he sat next to a woman and a dog in training to be in service for autism. Check it out: http://www.dogsforautism.org/
Two of the many things the dogs are trained for is to "protect" the child from themselves...herding a child to stay inside the boundaries of the property...alerting parents when a child opens a door to go outside, etc., etc...all things that we are beginning to deal with with Eliza. Surely, Hogan or Sadie can be trained to help us!

Here's some footage of Allie teaching Eliza some cheerleading moves and stretching exercises. I caln't remember if it's this video or not, but on one of them you can hear Eliza making the same sounds (not words, but sounds) as Allie. She's doing great mimicking everything and trying to make more and more sounds. She's been a pistol though since being sick...all toddler...lots of temper tantrums, very dramatic screaming and throwing her body at you or the floor when she doesn't get her way. She has also learned to smile at you though and has been using that when she wants something (smarty-pants). With Derek and I still getting our strength back after being sick, her moods have been a bit tiring. I'm allowed to say that right? Thankfully, Allie is such a good big sister. Enjoy...

2009-05-07T09:30:00.004-04:00

Okay, I get all the hints from your e-mails...I haven't updated 'cause we have all been sick. I don't have any good pictures to post not for lack of trying, but for lack of getting a picture that didn't show a runny nose. So, here's the completely random highlights of the last week:

1) Eliza had strep, an ear infection and 102 temp; and she's not a good patient.

2) At the same time, Mommy had an upper respiratory infection and wasn't very patient or comforting.

3) Daddy was away for work. Made for a very tough week.

4) A/C got a temporary patch; needs a new part, but they don't make it anymore???

5) Daddy came home from a week of meetings in Minneapolis and got sick; he's not a good patient either.

6) It's been raining, raining, raining...April showers brought all my flowers to life; and our Red Oaks in the backyard popped giving us the glorious canopy of shade that we love come summer.

7) Eliza's gladiator sandals were a success so I bought a second pair in purple, of course.

8) Allie finally went to an ortho for her knees that are constantly in pain and give out on her.

9) Diagnosis is Patellafemural Stress Syndrome (patella doesn't line up w/ the femural groove and therefore, dislocates constantly...should've seen the x-rays).

10) She will need p/t 2x per week to strengthen her inner thigh muscles. Re-eval in 6 weeks.

11) Will probably need surgery though.

12) Dad bought Mom 2 new golf clubs for Mother's Day and I love them (Taylor Made Burners - hybrids)!!

13) First Couple's Golf of the season begins this Friday which means "date night" is back on for us...ooh la la...drinks and dinner follow golf...and they have babysitting at the Club...get any better than that?

14) I've found an old childhood friend (Jocelyn) on Facebook who I haven't talked to since probably senior year of highschool. Was 1983 really 26 years ago???

15) I've been so excited to read her e-mails. She is a teacher and has been teaching special ed (children w/ autism too...wow) and has 2 handsome teenage boys. I feel old...26 years???

16) It dawned on Allie yesterday that (in her words and with a big smile) "in a few short months, we're going to be a family of 6 and there will be 3 girls and mom sitting on the couch at night watching Idol! And I'll have 2 little sisters asking me to drive them places in a few years." Mom's reply: "Yes, and I'll have 1 more child making demands on me and no, I'm not ready for you to be imagining yourself driving yet. I was kind of hoping you'd be around to play board games with your sisters for a few more years!?!"

17) Eliza is constantly saying "mama" and "dada" and she's been talking back to us too (good, bad and funny).

18) My house has been neglected; we should have bought stock in Kleenex and OJ.

19) This week has been Teacher Appreciation Week: I can't thank YOU enough!

20) Happy Mother's Day to everyone!

2009-04-28T09:33:00.008-04:00

WARNING: SOME OF THIS POST IS NOT ABOUT ELIZA!

(If you want to read about Eliza only, skip the first few paragraphs.)

It's Tuesday and we've had a run of 90 plus degree days here in NC. That's 90 with humidity! It's not pleasant. We generally have a short spring here, but c'mon...90 already? I seriously almost passed out during my tennis lesson on Saturday morning (which I love playing by the way) and felt sick during golf too...Derek and I got in 9 holes that afternoon...not a good idea, I thought I was suffering from heat stroke.

On Sunday, Allie and I played in the season's first "family golf"...Best Ball format. We didn't score very well, but we had lots of fun despite the heat. We were paired up with my good friend Marisa and her 7 year old son Jordan, who might end up being in the same grade/class as Meiying! Allie is just getting started so she's at that phase of becoming quickly defeated if she doesn't make good contact with the ball and thus easily distracted with thoughts of "what time is it", "I'm hungry", "I'm thirsty", "I'm tired"... She has a really good swing and would seriously crush the ball if she made contact. I finally told her to slow down though and think of a fluid dancer's move...WHACK!! She did it. We did play 2 of her drives from the junior tee's (thankfully, big advantage) and she sunk a long putt to make par for us on one much needed hole. I couldn't make a putt to save our life that day so we 3 putted just about all the other holes. And the golf Gods thought it was humorous to make us play out of the bunkers quite a bit too. Yeah, can you believe out of the 2 of us in a Best Ball format, the best we could do was come up with a sand shot? Allie learned how difficult that was once you stepped down into those bunkers with a high lip staring her in the face! I've been working on my short-iron game though and I'm actually starting to enjoy that now (bunkers, chip shots)...my coach-husband is very proud of his teaching! The horse pasture comes in handy for a driving range and our sand/riding arena is great for practicing those sand shots. I'll tell you tho, my mid-40 body just can't handle the hot temps like it used to unless I'm sitting in a pool and that's still a few weeks away.

To make matters worse, our A/C is not working AGAIN. Remember that from last summer? I think we just need to break down and invest in a new unit. This is the original unit to the house and every summer, we have to replace something very expensive on the unit. Not good timing w/ the adoption expenses. I'm expecting the repair man on Wednesday and we'll see what the prognosis is this year. In the meantime, we close up during the day and run the fans and open up the windows and doors at night (somehow, Mom, that worked growing up in upstate NY, not in the south though).

So, that leads to this post on Eliza...WHICH IS WHAT THIS BLOG IS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT...SORRY FOR DIGRESSING. My princess E is still riding her bike like crazy and getting more daring; don't know where she learned these things (no hands, zig-zagging, going way too fast). She took lots of falls this weekend, but didn't cry once. She's a trooper. Her knees and shins are all black & blue! We bought 2 pairs of summer sandals (her first flip-flops) and a sandal version of hightops (gladiator jelly sandals, flashback to the 80's) that hopefully, she'll keep on her feet at school. She still has that barefoot obsession. The converse hightops were the only shoes she couldn't get off so we're hoping the gladiator sandals will replace those for the summer. She wore them to school today and I asked for a progress report at the end of the day so I'd know whether to buy some other colors (Walmart, cheap, but cute.)

In today's video, I wanted to show you all the progress she's making on saying "juice" just since last week. She's really working hard on this word. Also, in the video, you'll see her appear like she's rocking (which can be an autism stim, not for Eliza though), but she's not rocking...she's actually trying to push away from the table which is what she does if I don't respond fast enough to what she wants. The problem is, since the A/C isn't working, the humidity made everything sticky, including the floors, so her chair is NOT sliding no matter how hard she pushes. Ha, ha! She also keeps looking away from the camera (which can also be an autism thing), but in this case, she's more stunned and perplexed about why she can't slide her chair. I got a little chuckle out of it when I watched the video back because I know her so well and know exactly what she was thinking...that look that comes over her "Darn it, I'm not in control".

Her teachers told me yesterday that they had a little conversation in sign language with Eliza that went like this: Eliza signed that she wanted to "walk" (guessing to her next center or task). Her teacher signed "no, Eliza, sit and wait"; Eliza signed back "sit and wait" and down she sat. No words were exchanged, only signing. That's pretty neat! They were proud of her. They are such an amazing and gifted group of teachers. I can't tell them thank you enough. She's also been mimicking everyone like crazy. She loves to watch Super Why...especially the character Princess P. When Princess P says "wands up", Eliza holds her invisible wand up. It's hilarious. In the photos below, Eliza is watching the very beginning of Super Why and I'm trying to tell her we have to leave for school (I DVR-it so she can watch it after school). Well, enjoy and wands up everyone!

2009-04-23T08:27:00.004-04:00

I apologize for the previous non-Eliza posts. Here's a few Easter photos for your viewing pleasure. Our dear friends-like-family, George and Judy, put on a Scavenger Easter Egg Hunt. This was very serious business...rules and all.

There's also a video with Eliza saying my favorite word "mama"...also her favorite lately...she says it all day long. Sometimes just babbling; other times, very purposeful. Just hearing it is food for my soul though. This morning, she walked into our bedroom and softly said "hey". Then, she said "Daddy". (Derek's out of town.) The rest of the morning, it's been "mama". In the video, you'll hear her try to say "juice". This is the first time she's actually said it! Her teachers told me that she had the best day ever yesterday. She was really focused and a sponge. It must be the pep-talks we have in the car on the way to school when I tell her to use her manners, have fun, smile, be silly, be nice to her friends, listen, talk, try to go on the potty and that I want to hear good things when I come back in the afternoon to pick her up.

Did I mention that we're DTC (dossier to China for you non-adoption speaking folks)!! Sorry, I had to slip that in there because I woke up this morning and reminded myself that I don't have to do any paperwork today! Alrighty, enjoy...

2009-04-22T21:50:00.004-04:00

Do you know what this means?

Hint: Girl + Flower = ?

You guessed right, Meiying ("Beautiful Flower")
Got the call, our Dossier left for China today!!

2009-04-21T12:39:00.004-04:00

So, did anyone watch The Amazing Race on Sunday night? They raced from India to China's Guangzhou Airport and then onto Guilin, which is where Meiying is! We were pretty excited to watch. So, click on the Osmanthus flower above, which is grown all over Guilin by the way, to find out the timeliness of that episode!

2009-04-11T11:01:00.006-04:00

I’m a BIG girl now! This is me on my bike yesterday. I practiced a lot yesterday.

Today, I rode my bike while Mommy and Daddy walked Hogan. We went all the way around the loop. I did it all by myself and I didn't fall at all today. I even rode through lots of puddles. That was so much fun!

Mommy said next time she would ride her bike with me. I can't wait!!! Daddy thinks I'm going to be ready for a new-bigger bike already. Wow!

Happy Easter, Love Eliza

P.S. I do still wear my glasses, but the straps hurt me behind my ears so I take lots of breaks during the day.

2009-04-07T09:41:00.005-04:00

Isn't she beautiful? I took these in the car after bike riding. Derek ran into Starbucks and Eliza climbed into the driver's seat. I wish the middle photo hadn't turned out blurry because it would've been one of the best pictures of Eliza.

Anyway, here's 2 of Eliza's "new" favorite videos to watch...

She loves riding her bike. When I'm weeding in the backyard, I'll find her in our shed, sitting on a big bike that she somehow managed to climb onto (and thank goodness it didn't fall over on her). She also loves to try out all the bikes when we see any in the stores. We do have a big-girl bike with training wheels that she's "working" on, but for the sake of fun and not work, she would rather ride this bike right now because she loves pedaling backwards and the big-girl bike "brakes" when you pedal backwards. Anyone remember those "Big Wheel" trike things from the 70's...this is very similar. Derek and I were reminscing about how much fun those were when we were kids. No wonder she enjoys riding it! As you can see in the video, she also enjoys riding up on the curbs and then backing down. You can't hear it in the video, but she has figured out if she pedals fast, then stops pedaling, she skids! She's so funny...

2009-04-02T09:31:00.007-04:00

Today, APRIL 2, is World Autism Awareness Day
April is Autism Awareness month
Please take less than 1 minute to watch the 2 videos here

Will you go for a walk today
(or sometime this month, for you non walkers)
While you walk
Take a moment to say a prayer or make a donation or simply be a friend
Talk to your children about being a friend to the
1 in 150 children diagnosed with autism today
Do it for Autism awareness, research, a cure
Eliza and I thank you for your love and support

And to Amy, Beth, Kristi, Melissa, Pam, Rachel, Yolanda...
my growing number of mom friends
both home and here in the blog world
who tirelessly champion their children
who despite their diagnosis
grow and succeed in their achievements daily...

I send you hugs, high 5's (and a vacation, if I could)

You rock, your kids are amazing and you're an inspiration!

2009-03-30T19:51:00.005-04:00

First of all, go check out my blog (Birds at the Feeder), link is in the sidebar to the right. I uploaded some wonderful videos of our hen and kitty together.

Here's a video of Eliza doing some signing. Some signs that aren't on the video are: book, i love you, walk, bad, good... I think that's it. You still have to demonstrate for her, but more and more she is doing spontaneous signing for things (just now, she signed help because she wants to watch a video on my laptop and I'm typing on it). So, she's finally learning some positive means of communication, but with that, she is learning the power of communication -- so when she doesn't get her way and she has signed something to you, she gets very annoyed. Note to self: I need to remember to learn the sign for wait and/or patience!!!

2009-03-25T11:00:00.003-04:00

Spring keeps teasing us w/ barefeet days... I just love Eliza's artwork that comes home with her from school. Wish my toes were this pretty!

Got my computer back w/ a brand new keyboard...ahhh...happy fingers again. Also, I had gotten some bug on my hard drive, slowing my processor down terribly, so they fixed that too. In the meantime, something happened to our ability to view Eliza's videos. She was devastated (as you can see by her tears in the video that I uploaded here). Thankfully, we fixed it. She loves watching herself on the videos and loves to "do" whatever she was doing in the video when the video is over (dance, jump on the trampolene, play knock-knock with her house and mommy). It's really funny, she'll sign "more" while she watches herself on the video signing "more". After every video, she gets down from my lap or the chair, runs and does whatever she was doing in the video then comes back to watch another one. Smart cookie!

Sorry I've been such a lazy blogger...I've been other-blog obsessed lately: I was obsessed with checking Megan's blog 100 times a day while she was in China the last week and a half. I was obsessed with seeing Mia Hope finally join her family as I checked Robin's (Red Threads) blog 100 times a day... This week there are 2 families in Nanning (where we will be) receiving there daughters. One is from Meiying's orphanage and the other is not, but she's 10, so I've been obsessed checking their blogs. I'm definitely getting the China itch and am in that 2nd/3rd trimester stage of being foggy brained and tired all the time (pollen, I know), gaining weight and nesting (throwing out all the clutter)! Alright, gotta scoot to the UPS store to send off documents to the NY and Los Angeles Consulates for authentication!!!

2009-03-10T20:50:00.003-04:00

Eliza's class usually has one field trip per month focused on a sensory-rich exploration. I had forgotten to post the last trip (I posted to Facebook, but not Blog...shame on me). Anyway, that trip was to rollerskating! Wow...that was so fun. Eliza is a natural. They tighten the kids' wheels; they can still roll, but have to work at it more. She was off on her own tho. Me...it all came back 30+ years later...the twirls, skating backwards...such a good time. E loved skating into the middle and then watching everyone whiz by her. She was smiling and dancing to the music. It was so cute. Next time, loosen her wheels; my girl is ready to roll. Count on it.

So, today, E had another big day. She rode a school bus for the very first time! Her class was invited to join the kindergarten class on their field trip to the Marble's Children Museum downtown Raleigh. Of course, I went along, but had to drive by myself. She had a blast. I forgot my camera, but her teacher took lots of pics that she said she would e-mail to me. (Her veteran teacher kept pointing out older kids that were non-verbal at E's age and would say, "Look at them now!" It was very sweet of her. ) I've always said that I long to hear Eliza's voice, but being able to communicate with us in a non-verbal way is okay; just want her to be able to communicate in a positive way and a way that other's will eventually be able to understand (ie not hitting her head out of frustration, scratching you to get your attention, throwing a water bottle at you to tell you she wants a drink -- thankfully, she hasn't done any of that for months now).

If I ever doubt that Eliza isn't listening or watching, she washes away those doubts in amazing, surprising ways....DRUM ROLL PLEASE: Tonight, E kept getting out of bed and coming downstairs. After several times, I got up and intercepted her on the stairs. This time, I asked her to tell my why she wouldn't stay in bed. I said, "Talk to mommy and tell me what you need." She looked me deep in the eyes for seconds, then slowly and steadily she looked at her hand...(Eliza will quite often tell you what she wants by looking at something or looking deep into your eyes, like "read my thoughts, mommy, you know me" and it's important to not give it to her, but rather have her point to it or sign). So on the stairs, I slowly followed her gaze and I saw that she was signing the universal handsign for "love" to me. Wow! A tearful moment and overwhelming love washed over me. You can imagine. It felt like it happened in slow motion and just like when we occasionally hear her say a word, you are almost in disbelief. But I saw it and I made sure I said it out loud to her so that she knew I understood what she was telling me. Don't you know, she stayed in bed after that. She had to tell me that she loved me. Beautiful!

Her teachers have noticed that Eliza is so on and doing things so purposeful and we've noticed it too. Problem is, because she's so quiet, if you're not watching her, you can miss some things. Like tonight on the stairs, had I not followed her gaze, I would've missed such an important communication. It was purposeful and it was as good as words to this mommy's heart.

Here's some video; you can see how purposeful and receptive she is to the beat and the lyrics that thankfully, she doesn't understand much of in this distasteful song (I'm feeling very old). Forgive my 13 year old's music choice and my hunky (not to be confused w/ honky) husband's dance moves! Enjoy...

2009-03-06T20:44:00.002-05:00

This is a double post because I'm not sure if everyone here checks my blog for Meiying. Here's some news worth celebrating:

Immigration approval received TODAY, in record time...just 12 days after our Homestudy was filed!!!!

2009-03-03T22:17:00.003-05:00

Here's some more birthday pictures. Make sure to watch the birthday video; it cracks me up every time. You'll see in the video that she finally "got it" this year...my little sweetie pie. She is making progress, slowly, but that's okay! Birthday gifts included the trampolene, a new Barney book, Fancy Nancy book and (my favorite) Puff the Magic Dragon book (remember that song?). The book came with a CD of the song (not the original PPM version, but a solo version by Peter of PPM -- Peter, Paul & Mary, if I'm dating myself -- and his daughter. I love it! Anyway, E came down w/a cold last night at bed time and was full-blown today. The trampolene is not staying in the house, but since there's snow on the ground and she needed some exercise, we began setting it up today. Of course, we let her jump on it!! Tonight, she wanted me to lay in bed w/ her...sniffle, sniffle, cough, cough. In true Eliza form, she started out snuggling tightly into me and then became giddy with love (hee, hee) or sensory (probably), but started tugging on my short hair (giggling), then found my ear lobe and tugged on that (giggling)...over and over again. I had to laugh with her. She is so funny at times.

2009-03-02T13:28:00.005-05:00

More birthday pictures to come later. For now, enjoy the snow...yes, on Eliza's birthday...March 2!!! Unbelievable...and yes, school was closed. So, here's Eliza's birthday song for today: "It's my birthday and I'll play if I want to, in the puddle if I want to...and you can't stop me 'cause it's my birthday...dah dah dah dah dah dah dahhhhh!"

2009-02-25T11:14:00.004-05:00

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY (since it's painfully slow to type on this keyboard anyway per previous post)!

That's our new horse, you can read about her on my other blog...she's 24!!

2009-02-24T16:09:00.007-05:00

Can't type much so I won't say much, but guess who did this to my laptop? Uh huh, you're right! To my little angel, this new discovery of joy is akin to pushing all the buttons on the tv over and over again (pleasure of autism). Mind you these stims don't happen all the time and are easy to transition her away from. When it does though, she can certainly, peacefully go off in her own world. What the picture doesn't show is what my keyboard looked like before I had to put all the keys (every letter and number) back on. The ones you see missing are the broken ones that I couldn't put back together. (If you've never popped a key off, then you don't realize what else besides the black key makes up the innerworkings of your keyboard...so yes, she had all the innerworkings off in pieces too.) Where was I when this was going on? Guess? It happened in minutes and was a frightening site when I walked back in the room...just a massive pile of chaos.

I am so proud of the progress Eliza is making. She's doing so well in school; making connections; great eye contact and really developing her little personality. She's just full of herself and happy. Here's a quick video of some interraction with me and signing "more" (in this case, "again Mommy"). Hey, I know she's going to be 4 in a week, but playing this way w/ Mommy is huge and something she wouldn't do even a few months ago. She's making great strides and will take every one of them, big or small.

2009-02-03T16:08:00.004-05:00

Miss E modeling my latest knit creation that I call the Angel Kisses hat (http://birdsatthefeeder.blogspot.com/ ) and how dare I interrupt Dragon Tales...hence the happy to annoyed expressions!First, brim folded up. Now, brim folded down...
Brim folded up again...
...No more Mommy! Get away and take the hat w/ you!!!

2009-02-03T13:12:00.003-05:00

Here's Miss E modeling the tunic vest that I knitted. She kept running around while I was trying to capture the pose so it's bunched up on her rather than pulled down to the tunic length that it's meant to be! Oh well...trials of working with a live model. You can stop by my other blog http://birdsatthefeeder.blogspot.com/ to see it better.

And the other picture is Eliza doing a split. One of her teachers minored in dance in college and loves that Eliza naturally performs dance and yoga moves. So, on their "Gym" days at school, she's been working w/ Eliza! Perfect!! Not a flattering picture. She's wearing a courduroy skirt and doing a split?! Probably should have a little talk about being a lady! Do her legs look long? They are...she's growing like a weed. Don't you love her Converse Hightops? She has a pair in pink too...cures her obsession with taking off her shoes and going barefoot all the time. Same thing w/ wearing tights...she's been wearing lots of skirts and tights. 'Cause pants w/ socks? The socks end up off...my southern China baby should be walking barefoot on a beach!

If you've noticed that she hasn't been wearing glasses in the last few posts it's because she's broke both pairs and they're in the shop! Yup... Doesn't seem to be holding her back other than lots of rubbing of her eye at the end of the day.

2009-01-30T13:27:00.005-05:00

I ordered this 2-piece outfit from Daleea http://ladypeedboutique.blogspot.com/ for Eliza. It is the most beautiful outfit; the pictures don't do it justice. Eliza was as excited to try it on as I was to see it on her. She loved the flirty bottoms around her ankles. It's just precious! She ran up to her room to stand on her bed so she could look at herself in the mirror on her dresser... You should visit Daleea's blog and check out some of her other amazing creations.

Snowing in the south!

2009-01-20T14:45:00.008-05:00

Yep, school was cancelled at 9:30 p.m. last night. Some time during the night it started snowing. It's been very windy so the actual accumulated amount is suspect, but they're reporting 5 inches...we've seen it over 7 inches here at our farm. Keep in mind, we're in the South. We haven't had a snowfall like this in at least 5 years. .....You know you live in the South when it snows:

1) Instead of seeing traditional sleds, you see all the water accessories from the summer come out (tubes, floats, boogie boards, etc.)!
2) Kids think they're dressed warm to play in the snow in their jeans and a jacket (hats? mittens? boots?)!
3) You don't see snowmobiles, but you do see 4 wheelers!
4) School gets cancelled just at the forecast alone (there's been times that the snow missed us and kids got to stay home on a glorious, sunny 50 degree day)!
5) Everything shuts down, except Starbucks and Food Lion grocery stores.
6) Anything over 4 inches of snow, you can count on school being cancelled the following day too!

Okay, so here's some photos from this a.m. I promise you in the pictures of the 4 wheeler pulling the sled, Dad was driving very, very slow. Also, keep in mind, that my animals are southern born and bred...they do have warm places to go so don't feel sorry for them in these pictures; but thought the pictures were funny and worthy to post. Lastly, I guess once you're 13, you don't have to dress in what mom thinks is best for you anymore...she lasted about 10 minutes in her NON-waterproof attire. As for Eliza, she lasted about that long too simply because her cheeks were bright red from the wind and she kept losing a mitten (it is 25 degrees outside). She did enjoy the snow though and thought it was funny being bundled up in so many layers. Once the two girls were back in the house, "northern mom" and "thinks he's northern (mid-atlantic) dad" went right back outside again 4 wheeling w/ Hogan running beside us. It was a blast and Hogan LOVED the snow. He didn't want to come back in... Enjoy the pictures.

Allie turned 13 and MLK Bowling

2009-01-19T20:35:00.004-05:00

Allie turned 13 yesterday...can it be? She's now a teenager? I remember when she was Eliza's age...one of those "I feel so old" moments; sort of like when you go bee-bopping out of the house feeling good about how you look, still feeling 30 something, then you walk past a mirror and see yourself...your bee-bop goes flat and you suddenly feel your age, your weight, your grey and your droop! Anyway, she got a laptop for her birthday...my mom asked me if I remembered what I got for my 13th birthday? ... Um, no.... She said that she gave each of us girls (my sisters and I) our first makeup. Wow, how do you go from makeup to a laptop in 30 years? Actually, 30 years sounds like a long time (another feeling old moment) so I guess it's possible. That and the fact that I was still using the Encyclopedia, Nat'l Geographic, Science Encyclopedia's, etc., to do research and homework assignments back then. Rarely even used a typewriter?! Today...anyone w/ school age kids knows that a kid now does powerpoints for school!! (So, I ran out to the store and got Allie some makeup!...) Thanks for reminding me of the simple pleasures of turning into a young lady, Mom. Allie took off upstairs w/ her girlfriends and had fun putting on a "beautiful face"...I guess some things really haven't changed.

The birthday sleep-over and celebration continued into today, MLK Day, so I took the girls and Eliza and I bowling. What a hoot that was. Eliza loved seeing the balls whizzing down the lanes, pins crashing, lights flashing and could barely contain herself as she had to wait her turn. She lasted 1 game (10 frames) before sheer exhaustion, over-stimulation, unlimited bowling alley frenchfries, Skittles and the excitement turned her into the lovely "Linda Blair, Exorcism" child. Joy! Fortunately, the girls were all exhausted from a late night of staying up singing very loudly to all their favorite songs, drinking rootbeer floats, Doritos, dancing and many other very 13 year old things...so we headed back home and are now under a winter weather advisory...teasing us with a forecast of 2-4 inches of SNOW!!!! (Of course, all the districts surrounding us already closed school for tomorrow just at the forecast alone. We're still waiting to see if our district will close tonight. The snow isn't forecasted 'til tomorrow. Gotta love living in the south!)

Headstands and sharing

2009-01-17T19:16:00.006-05:00

Eliza's been working really hard at standing on her head...it took a few attempts today, but I'd say she did it pretty well for a 3 year old!

Some random photos from tonight, that went like this: 1) Hogan had his bone and Eliza studied his teeth nawing on it. I told her that he was brushing his teeth. 2) Eliza went and got her tooth brush and Hogan thought he should be able to inspect what she had too. 3) Sadie took Hogan's bone during the toothbrush distraction and Eliza came running to watch Sadie naw on it...then Hogan returned. Check out these pictures and tell me how many dogs will allow their space to be invaded this way? You see why I worry about Eliza getting that close to other people's dogs?!!

>
My good boy, Hogan...turned a year old in December...he's the most patient and sweet boy. Never tries to take his bone away from Sadie; never minds Eliza sitting on him or poking his mouth...He's just a typical Golden Retriever wanting to please you and be as close to you as possible! Unfortunately, "snip snip" is scheduled for next month. He's never tried to be studdly, but it's time. Sorry buddy!

No longer Dad's recliner...

2009-01-13T22:10:00.002-05:00

Eliza discovered that she could use her upper body weight to recline Dad's favorite chair...this is now her favorite chair. Move over Daddy...there's a new couch potatoe-tv watching fan in the house and she's now claiming your chair!

Not mommy-brain, just on mommy-time!

2009-01-10T21:55:00.007-05:00

No, I didn't forget to upload the pictures to my last post. No, I don't have mommy-brain (ok, most of the time I do but...) I just kept having blogger issues while trying to post and upload pictures the other day and I finally decided that if it wasn't going to happen on "my time", it wasn't going to happen... Let's see if blogger is on "my time" tonight...a'hem, so here's the pictures that should've gone w/ yesterday's post:

The Emma and Ginger Show

Trying to get some bird pictures, but thought the reflection on the water was photo worthy

Forget that this feeder was supposed to be squirrel proof,

this little guy didn't even care that I was 3 feet away

Rain, rain...all week, but what beautiful, ominous skies we had;
twice, giving us a complete rainbows over our entire farm...

Another photo worthy picture;

loved this old dwelling even more when our road used to be dirt

and it set back in the trees...but along came the construction of the school...

paved road and many trees taken down...at least this was left alone

A warm winter day that calls you to come out and ride...

All things farm life...

2009-01-09T11:15:00.002-05:00

Living on a farm and being an animal and nature lover, my computer is full of short stories for children that I've written over the years about some of the funny, not so funny and awe-inspiring relationships we've had w/ the animals out here. The latest that I've been scribbling is about our last remaining hen, Emma, and her faithful companion...that stray kitten that I posted about back in October, remember, Little "Ginger". The amazing thing is that Ginger, the kitty, is the same color that our old Hen, Hannah, was and ironically, Ginger-kitty showed up shortly after Hannah passed away. Anyway, Ginger-kitty follows Emma everywhere, all day long. ....So, one of my favorite morning "programs" has become The Emma and Ginger Show. It comes on about 6:30 a.m., on my front porch, as Emma awakes, stretches (which is funny if you never seen a chicken stretch) and hops off her nightly perch, our porch swing. At that moment, Ginger-kitty, walks the top of the porch rail and hops down to join Emma. Emma stops to drink from the cats' water bowl. Ginger waits her turn. Emma nibbles on some catfood, yes our hen eats cat food. Ginger waits her turn. Emma wobbles over to the top step and stretches again. At this spot, Ginger-kitty starts purring and rubbing up aginst Emma, along her backside, rubs up beside her, curls under her neck, around to the other side. Emma hops down the front steps to see what crumbs she can find under the birdfeeders in the front yard and Ginger springs to action. Frisky kitty, starts zooming around the front yard, crouching behind trees and jumping out at Emma. This goes on for about 10 minutes. All the while, Emma just nibbles at the birdseed in the grass, unphased. Finally, Emma begins her morning walk along the fenceline...Ginger right beside her and the morning program ends. All the while, I stand there in amazement, smiling. I'm sorry I can't video tape this because it's not bright enough outside at that hour. It's something to witness though. Here's some photos of the two of them and other farm shots taken recently.

Recent pictures of Nina Meiying!

2009-01-06T10:02:00.002-05:00

Pop over to my blog for Nina Meiying, "Beautiful Flower" at the link shown on my sidebard or here
http://www.tobringherhome.blogspot.com for recent pictures! She's so cute and I can't wait to braid her long, thick, curly hair!! Here's a sneak-peak of one of the pictures I just posted to her blog.

First day back to school...

2009-01-05T09:35:00.003-05:00

Ahhh, it's quiet...they're back to school. Millions of things to do, but felt I had to post a happy picture after my last post focused on autism. So, here it is...a favorite of mine from the holiday collection. Now, to the millions of things I need to get done in the few hours that I have...

Barn Owls, Thimerisol and Autism

2009-01-04T20:56:00.014-05:00

I love birds...one of my favorite coffee mugs that I found in a favorite, "off-the-beaten-path" store in Virginia, named "Gathers", last Christmas is this Barn Owl mug by Emma Bridgewater. My new favorite on-line store that I love mulling through is

http://www.dragonflydrygoods.com/

out of Vermont and carries the Emma Bridgewater line. She has other bird mugs that I'm going to collect. Why? I love this mug. I love how it feels in my hand; how my coffee tastes in it; how it looks back at me in the morning. Do you have a mug like that? I think every coffee or tea drinker should. There's just something about opening the cabinet and pulling out that favorite mug. So, lately, I've been looking for more barn owl pottery to add to the mug. That got me thinking about the sleuthing that I love to do and this year, my need for information about our minds, bodies, nutrition, exercise...becoming a wise "old" owl, I am! Yes, I feel old and thus, my New Years resolution...

I haven't posted much about Autism since Eliza's diagnosis, but 2009 being a New Year and my resolution to live "healthier", I've been doing more reading about the affects of what goes into our bodies. I stumbled across an Autism Health Report with claims of being able to "heal" our children. Typically, I just pass those over as the next person trying to sell the magic coolaide and get rich off of others' hardships, but there was a link to an article that caught my attention. It was a stunning article written by Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., with some quite disturbing information. Whether Autism touches your life or not, we've all heard about the debate over the connection between Autism and Vaccines. It was all over the news during 2008. Read this and tell me if just this paragraph alone doesn't make you shutter:

"The fact that Iowa's 700 percent increase in autism began in the 1990s, right after more and more vaccines were added to the children's vaccine schedules, is solid evidence alone." Last year, Iowa became the first state to ban mercury in vaccines, followed by California. Similar bans are now under consideration in 32 other states. But instead of following suit, the FDA continues to allow manufacturers to include thimerosal in scores of over-the-counter medications as well as steroids and injected collagen. Even more alarming, the government continues to ship vaccines preserved with thimerosal to developing countries -- some of which are now experiencing a sudden explosion in autism rates. In China, where the disease was virtually unknown prior to the introduction of thimerosal by U.S. drug manufacturers in 1999, news reports indicate that there are now more than 1.8 million autistics. Although reliable numbers are hard to come by, autistic disorders also appear to be soaring in India, Argentina, Nicaragua and other developing countries that are now using thimerosal-laced vaccines. The World Health Organization continues to insist thimerosal is safe, but it promises to keep the possibility that it is linked to neurological disorders "under review."

If that paragraph grabbed you, go read the article in it's entirety here: http://www.health-reports.com/RobertKennedyJrarticle.html

If the connection between Thimerisol Vaccines and Autism is real, I still don't understand why some children are affected and other's not. Before 1991, one child in every 2500 was diagnosed on the Autism Spectrum. After 1991, and the introduction of 3 add'l vaccines required for babies under the age of 2 months; and the increase to 22 vaccines administered before a child becomes school age, the rate of Autism diagnosis increased to one in 166. At any rate, I wonder sometimes if it depends on the child's immune system at the time of vaccination, genetics, the vial (these vaccines contain the preservative, Thimerisol, because the vials contain multiple doses, as a cost savings, and therefore, are exposed to multiple needle sticks; thus needing the preservative, Thimerisol).

One study that I'm sure will come out one day as well, is the rise in dementia/alzheimers in the elderly and the link to something similar to Thimerisol; this being very personal to me and my father's sad, last few years of life. They'll argue that there's no connect, but rather that we are living longer. But c'mon, we live longer in part due to the development of medication, our dependence on those meds and the increase in medications as we age. Of course, I also feel that environmentally, we are exposing ourselves to more today than ever.

I don't claim to be an expert on Autism; I'm still educating myself. Neurologically, Autism can affect a person's language skills, sleep patterns, mental development, motor skills, social skills, ADD/ADHD, injurious behavior, seizures...so many areas to list...that's why it's referred to as a Spectrum. In this blog, I don't speak about the many challenges that Eliza lives with daily on the Autism Spectrum, but I can tell you that she lives with all of those that I listed w/ the exception of seizures; some greater than others. The Spectrum is also dynamic; so some seem to go away and we're thankful for that; while other new challenges develop. I'm an optimist at heart and tend to not dwell, but after reading that report and really trying to understand all that WE are putting into our bodies, I can't help but think, could her challenges have been avoided? Would she be singing and talking? Would she... See, I don't even want to go there. It's painful as her mother if I allow myself to go there and not accept her completely as she is. But continue to educate myself and make us healthier, I can do! So, if I buy the magic cool-aide that someone touts will heal her, understand. I still pray and hope that Eliza's complete self will one day include singing and talking and being completely in the present with us.

Future belly dancer or trick rider?

2008-12-28T16:02:00.004-05:00

Eliza has been doing these contortionist things with her shirts these days. I've yet to see how she gets her shirts this way, but today's was an especially interesting look. Last I knew, she was watching a Barney show while I was posting on the Blog. Then I looked up and saw her dancing away to the Barney music and noticed her shirt. Well, I immediately thought: Belly Dancer!! Then she started rocking on her horse and trying to stand up on him. So, then I thought: Trick Rider!!! Of course, mommy tried doing something similar when she was about 4 and ended up breaking a wrist. Hmmm...better turn the camera off and set her straight on the rules of proper riding.

Santa is our hero!

2008-12-28T14:58:00.007-05:00

We had a wonderful, busy Christmas. Up early, Eliza came downstairs and the first thing she saw was a new pony (the indoor kind). I said, "Look what Santa brought for you Eliza!" She smiled big and went over to touch it and check it out. She immediately got on and started rocking. When we got everyone else up, Allie went right to the Barney present and gave it to Eliza. Eliza didn't pay much attention to it until Dad squeezed Barney's hand through the wrapping paper. The rest, you'll see on the video I uploaded. It was so funny. And, no, she has not let go of Barney's hand since. Except for our post Christmas shopping day when she dropped Barney in the department store and I was clueless. She screamed and cried and I just thought she was fighting off a nap. Wouldn't you know it, we were in the dressing room when a woman called in asking if someone had lost Barney. My heart stopped. I had gotten used to not having Barney around for 3 weeks that I forgot he was "supposed" to be with us. Oh my! The woman said that she remembered seeing a cute little girl in a stroller with him, so she had been walking around the store looking for us! Can you imagine! ...She's my hero...

Eliza is feeling much better and has been so happy. She's been doing this funny, loud laughing thing. (I think she's imitating my laughter.) It's very funny and you can't help but laugh along with her, which encourages her to do more. She's been dancing like crazy and it's hilarious to watch. She also loves to pat her legs to the songs on Barney shows. She's been jibber-jabbering constantly, and playing and socializing really well. It's been so wonderful to see. She had a really, really good Christmas! Her presents were a hit; Barney, of course, being her favorite; a Barney and a Berenstein Bears DVD; the plush rocking horse; a marble tower that we can construct in many different ways and watch the marbles go flying down..a few books; and The Mixed Up Chamelion (you move colored balls that are under plexi-glass through the maze and into their appropriate colored-place with a magnet pen. She really likes playing with it.)

My heart has been full watching her get into her toys and videos, dancing and laughing at appropriate things...though she's 3.5 and in many ways is doing things that a young toddler would be doing, just seeing her "make the connections" is huge. I couldn't help think that the timing of bringing home Nina Meiying is going to be perfect with Eliza getting more social. Happy New Year friends and family!

Christmas Preparations

2008-12-23T21:21:00.004-05:00

Finally got everyone together for our Christmas card photo-shoot...typical craziness and "tossing" out 99% of the pictures because someone wasn't "perfect". It was fun, as usual, though.

We've been constantly asking Eliza where Barney is and if Santa is going to bring Barney back. She's been looking for him and smiles bright when she hears that Santa might bring him.

So, here's a sneak-peak of a shot from our Christmas card adventure and also a video of Eliza sharing a before-bed snack with Hogan and Sadie tonight! (P.S. The golden-puppy is "Carmen" from the kids' mom's house...she comes over for sleepovers and play dates w/ Hogan.)

Merry Christmas everyone and may 2009 bring us peace and joy!

Sick days...

2008-12-19T11:45:00.005-05:00

Poor Eliza has been down w/ double ear infections again and a fever that finally broke this morning, after two days of consistently being 100 - 102. She's been pitiful; wanting to be carried all day and snuggled into me day and night; not sleeping and waking if she hears me leave her side. (Dad says he can't blame her...awww!) She refused food and drink for two days, even her favorite drinks. Finally, last night, I thought we should take her to the ER for fear of dehydration. I'm telling you, I tried everything to get some fluids into her. Anyway, finally last night, thank God, she started sipping a little. This morning, the fever broke and she was more agreeable to some light snacking and drinking.

I feel so bad that Eliza missed this week of school because they were planning so many fun projects and festivities for Christmas. Today is the Christmas party in their class that parents were invited to, but I just don't think she'll be up for even a visit. They sent home some cute gingerbread men and I was looking forward to seeing what else they were going to work on. They also made a calendar for 2009 and it has all these great classroom shots of Eliza on it. I loved it. Her teachers are amazing!

I've got so much to do in these final days before Christmas. The few cookies that I did get baked, have already been eaten up! I'm also still trying to get my family all home at the same time for a Christmas photo; so those won't be going out until after Christmas at this rate. Well, here's a few pictures I did snap this week. Some of Eliza wearing a cute hat as we got ready to go to the dr's (I wanted to cover her ears before we went out into the wind); another of her wearing mommy's chic-velvet hat and playing w/ her new favorite toy from Auntie Megan and Emma; another of her playing her little keyboard. I'm trying to upload some vidoes too that I took on my camera of her playing the keyboard (you can hear her coughing pitifully). I have another video I took of Eliza and Allie playing too (before she was sick though). Well, enjoy...Derek's back home now and I'm hoping to get some respite!

Wordless Wednesday

2008-12-10T16:21:00.006-05:00

Barney Update and Christmas Tree Decorating

2008-12-10T16:07:00.004-05:00

Barney Update: I bought another Barney, but decided to wrap him up as a Christmas present. I think it will be the first time that a present makes an impression on Eliza...and will, no doubt, make Santa her hero!

Since we came home from China in October 2006, this will be our 3rd Christmas with Eliza. And what a difference a year has made...this is the first year that she participated in decorating the tree and has NOT taken off every ornament within her reach. Now, that's not to say that she's still not fascinated by the shiny or jingly ornaments, but at least she puts them back on the tree this year. Looking at the pictures from this year and comparing them to last year, I'm reminded of how baby-like she still was last year. Enjoy the pictures!

Barney's untimely death

2008-12-04T00:09:00.001-05:00

Okay, admittedly this was the dumbest thing I've ever done. I killed Barney. Yes, you read that right. (That's not the dumb thing I did; it's how I killed Barney that was dumb). Each morning, I have to distract Eliza w/ either her toothbrush or a drink so that she'll put Barney down...long enough for me to snatch him w/out her noticing and hide him...just so we can go to school w/out any Barney separation anxiety. So, on this particular morning, as I snatched Barney, Eliza started to follow me. The closest hiding place I could find quick enough was the upper oven. Alright, I know you're already starting to laugh... In that moment, mental note to self, "Take Barney out of the oven immediately after coming home from dropping Eliza off at school so that I don't bake Barney at dinnertime." ..........Well, I was distracted by a stop at my neighbor's house for coffee this a.m. and completely forgot about Barney. .......You guessed it, tonight, I turned on the oven to bake some rolls. As the temp increased to 170 degrees, I saw a flash of light inside the oven. @*^#(#!!!!!! Yikes, Barney was on fire. It didn't help that Allie kept yelling, "You burned Barney; Barney's on fire; I can't believe you burned Barney!" I threw Barney into the sink into a pot of water...sizzle...sizzle. Peeeyewww! Stunk! Poor Eliza kept looking around the kitchen everytime she'd hear "Barney's name" come out of Allie's mouth. I don't think she understood, but she clearly knew that something wasn't right. So, Barney is officially buried in the outside garbage can and tomorrow morning I will be hunting down a singing Barney to replace him. Oh my... I'm a bad mommy!

We received PA from the CCAA!!

2008-12-02T09:39:00.004-05:00

On December 1, we got the word that we were okayed by the CCAA to move ahead in becoming this little girl's family! (Check out my other blog for updates going forward...see the link in my sidebar.)

Introducing Meiying, named for the hope that she would be beautiful and generous.

Born in the year of (imagine my surprise) the Horse.
June 8, 2002
Province of Guangxi, Guilin SWI
Residing with a loving and devoted foster family
In 2004 entered the Infants and Toddlers program cooperated with Half the Sky Foundation
Currently in 1st Grade at Half the Sky Foundation's "Little Sister Primary School"
She loves to learn, talk about the story she read, play with others, is polite
She loves to dance, sing and help other children who are "less capable"
She loves animals (drawing them, touching them, studying them)

We are so excited and feel like Meiying is going to fit right in. So now I have to get moving on the rest of the dossier process!

Artwork, Computer Skills and Ginger

2008-11-17T09:53:00.006-05:00

Eliza's first school picture!! Not smiling, but I'm impressed that she was actually looking at the camera.

Eliza's teachers have been very pleased w/ her progress. Though they are still doing some hand-over-hand work w/ Eliza, for the most part her daily report is that she is working more and more independently at coloring inside the lines, cutting on the lines, glueing and her new favorite: stapling! Last week they made a turkey and a cornucopia (sp?).

P.S. Doesn't our granite look so pretty? And the backsplash that Derek did all by himself while we were in Kansas...

As you saw in my last post, Eliza loves getting on the computer these days and doing the Barney Dance Along Jukebox at pbs.org. She has such focus. I caught a great shot of Eliza and Allie side-by-side on the couch last night focused on their laptops (okay, dad's and mom's laptops). Allie was playing a "light the Christmas tree" puzzle game. It's pretty fun and hard to do. I'll have to look for the link and post it. It's a great on-line puzzle.

Lastly, here's the newest little stray that wandered (or was dropped off) to our farm. Like we need more wandering cats out here. She won't let us touch her, but she appreciates that we are feeding her. She's probably 10 weeks old. So tiny (that's a small pumpkin that she's next to) and really pretty (a tortoiseshell, no white). When I first saw her, I thought she was a raccoon. She has taken over our front porch and spends the days and nights sleeping in the rocking chair that used to be our cat, Rosie's, spot. Rosie is very miffed, as you can imagine. This little kitten tho, named her Ginger, took right over. For a kitten shy of people, it's funny how she has stayed right by the front door. As I always tell the kids, don't get attached. We have many strays (cats, dogs) that call us home for a short time and then wander on. It's sad because some have been so friendly and have stayed for months and months, then suddenly disappear and we never know what happened to them. So, for now, this is "Ginger".

Catching up on photos...

2008-11-12T19:00:00.007-05:00

Sorry that I wrote so much in my previous blog and then didn't even post any pictures! How dare I? Well, been sick here, sorry! Here's a few from the last 3 weeks...

The 3 Witches (Eliza, Allie w/ friend Stacy): "TAKE #1"

The 3 Witches: "TAKE #99"...finally one where the hats or wigs stayed on and everyone looked!

Hogan, couldn't quite muster keeping a witch hat on him afterall!

Exhausted, sorting the loot!

Eliza on a sugar high, looking on at the sorting of candy!

On the computer, her new favorite activity!

Barney dances to songs at pbs.org!

I've always wanted to adopt...

2008-11-12T11:25:00.004-05:00

First of all, my new header captures Eliza almost perfectly. She's always got one shoe off. She's really into watching you tie her shoes these days and tries to do it herself. So, she knows if she takes a shoe off, you'll put it back on and she can watch you tie it. She's such a smarty pants!

So, we're moving along on our paperwork. Almost ready for our agency to submit our LOI to the CCAA for a little girl. I'm so excited. Hoping that we are her family. If you don't already know, the new rules do not allow an agency to lock-in a child off the shared list for a family until CCAA approval. Meaning that other families could be applying for the same child. Still have a lot of dossier to get to, but this is going on simultaneously.

Onto today's post "title": I've always wanted to adopt... As you all know, each adoption journey is filled with paperchasing tails. I had a good one happen this morning. I went to our family dr to pick up our physicals that he was supposed to sign/notarize. Well, he signed them w/out notarizing. (The same exact thing happened for Eliza's adoption.) Big sigh, from me, in their office. They know me quite well and I feel like I've been there every day for weeks now w/ all our illnesses. Anyway, I figured I'd take the paperwork over to the Town Hall (like I did for Eliza) and get "lucky" again finding a notary that knows our dr (it's a very small town) and who would notarize it (like I did for Eliza). Get the picture here... Of course, I didn't get as "lucky" this time. She was a new notary and not comfortable notarizing his signature. Another big sigh, from me, in their office. Last resort, play the adoption card: "My agency is holding a child's file for us and is waiting for this paperwork so they can apply to China. It has to be there today." Well, the woman starts asking around to the other clerks if they know or have a document w/ our dr's signature on it that she could look at. They start pulling permits, etc. Uh oh! I quickly decide this might take a while and maybe I could ask her to drive over to the dr's with me (1/2 mile away). She looks out the window at the glorious fall day and to my surprise, says "Sure!". So, we did and she notarized it there in my dr's office. The best part of it, was when one of the young nurses overheard us and asked, "Are you adopting?" I told her this was our second adoption from China. To that she said, "You're so lucky! I've always wanted to adopt." I smiled and I said, "It takes someone who always wanted to adopt to recognize that I'm the lucky one. Usually, people say that the child is lucky. Listen to your heart and I hope that one day, you will be lucky too." She was in her early 20's. Made me think back to myself at that age. I always knew I wanted to adopt too. It took me nearly 20 years to get there. I hope she acts on it. Something tells me that she will and that made me smile for a child waiting.

All things pre-Halloween!

2008-10-31T11:18:00.003-04:00

What seems to be becoming tradition, we're all sick; upper respiratory crud, sinus infections, inner ear infections. Been battling this in our house for 3 weeks now. It just keeps going around. Not to get in the way of Halloween preparations though. Snapped a few fun pictures of pre-Halloween preparations.

As for our plans for tonight, we always walk our old neighborhood. Allie and her friend Stacey (both 7th graders) are happily going to be ringing doorbells w/ Eliza tonight. All three will be dressed as witches and Hogan will join them w/ a witch hat. Should be fun, cute and exhausting! The good news about living on the farm is that a parent doesn't get left behind to answer the door 'cause no one wants to walk down our dark, scary 1/2 mile driveway. So, we all get to participate in T or T'ing. The bad news is, no one comes to our door for T or T. I always loved that. Okay, well enjoy. More pictures after T or T!

Warning: This is a Non-Eliza Post

2008-10-28T13:15:00.007-04:00

So, we decided to bring in a "boarder" to keep Georgie Girl company. (Georgie Girl is in the blue blanket pictured above.) Her new companion's name is "Scotch". "He's" quite a handful and not very personable towards people. Georgie likes him okay, but he's much younger and keeps her on the move. Most days, she ends limping as she tries to keep up. It's pitiful; see the arthritis in her knees. You can see the pain and annoyance in her eyes. She's a grandma and was used to having old Clark to quietly graze with. This young fella gets "silly" over the brisk air or the blue herron that swoops down to our pond; pretty much finds any reason to start galloping through the pasture. Horses being horses, she HAS to keep up with him. So, limping away, the herd must stay together.

This picture is of Scotch checking in w/ Georgie after I put her blanket on. He was freaked out by the blanket. She, of course, is reassuring him. She's so sweet and always so good about standing still for blanketing. I'm hoping he'll learn trust from her. In his defense, he didn't have a very good start in life...read on.

He didn't have a nice big pasture to play in so he loves making his new owner chase him all over the place before he'll let her catch him; yesterday it took her 30 minutes. He didn't have a herd to hang out with and learn social skills so "space" is an issue for him (both you encroaching his and him encroaching yours or Georgie's). Once he was broke to saddle, his job was to be the designated driver for a drunk man. No kidding! He would hang out waiting to be saddled, ride to a bar, get tied up outside the bar and be on-call to drive the drunk man back to his house. Now, I have no clue where this all took place because it sounds like something out of the 1800's to me. While we do live on a farm, we're quite a suburban area and within the urban sprawl . But that's the story I was told though. It's colorful; it allows me to approach his issues with comedy rather than annoyance. His (new, non drinking) owners are nice; it's their daughter's horse and she's 16. I've enjoyed having horse-folks out here again and watching someone ride. According to his new owner, for the first few months, every time she'd swing her leg over the saddle, he'd buck her off. Can't you just picture him doing this to a drunk guy and how funny that would be to watch. Though the rest of the image isn't very good, he'd get clobbered by the drunk and is now very head shy. Amanda, the new owner, has worked so hard w/ him to gain trust and let her ride him. They do beautifully together now.

That said, the cold weather has finally moved in. We've had frost two nights in a row and it's been windy, windy, windy. Since Eliza's been in school, I haven't had the opportunity to take as many photos of her as I used to. So, I decided to snap some of what's been happening around the farm.

This is the huge, 2-story elementary school being built right behind us. The next picture is what our view used to be. What the picture doesn't show is how close the school is.

I hate our new view; I hate that we can't ride horses, the 4-wheeler, dirt bikes, etc. out there anymore. I hate that I can't take the dogs out for a run in the fields anymore. I hate the all our deer and other wildlife have been run off. I hate that there's construction crews out there and we've lost our privacy. I could go on and on. The funny thing is, right after I took this picture, about 20 guys showed up on top of that burm and started picking up all the trash that's been blowing over into my pasture. I think they thought I was taking pictures as evidence. Hmmm, not a bad idea.

Of course, here's Sadie and Hogan (on the right). Look how big Hogan has gotten. He's the most handsome golden retriever (male) ever. He's absolutely in love with me and won't let me out of his sight.

Other than that, the dossier is coming along. We've had some good progress; our first homestudy update meeting complete, physicals, Hague-required child abuse clearances ordered from all states we've lived in since 18, and completing some other documents so that we can submit our intent and request PA for a little girl.

Well, Scotch is on the move again, so Georgie's heading after him. Look how annoyed she looks in the picture below. Can you see the arthritis in her knees. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Well, that's my non-Eliza update! Enjoy.

My daughter

2008-10-15T11:48:00.004-04:00

OCTOBER 11...the day that Eliza's adoption was finalized in China. Two years ago. I am so in love with my daughter, all of her. I love her facial expressions. I love how close we are. I love the way that she kept staring into my eyes while grocery shopping yesteday and all the while with a pure, happy smile on her face. It is such an enormous and yet love-filled notion to think that a child looks to you for everything. That you are their one person; their safe place; that they can be themselves with. Eliza reminds me every day of how gentle and true her heart is.

Something I didn't share about our Yangdong reuinion trip (to Kansas) was a moment that happened at the pool. Eliza comes alive at the pool and that day, she was practicing her jumping and diving to me. Jaiden, Julie's daughter, was enjoying it and wanted to be a part of it and the two girls had lots of fun taking turns. After some time, Jaiden finally fell asleep on one of the lounge chairs. So, we started packing our things up and suddenly, Julie and I both looked over and witnessed Eliza down on her knees beside the lounge chair and sleeping-Jaiden. She took Jaiden's thumb out of her mouth and proceeded to hold her hand. Quietly, she turned her head away from Jaiden, still holding hands and stared out into the view of a pond and grass area. For me, it was akin to a sister moment or to the times I'd visit Dad in the nursing home and just hold his hand and sit quietly together. My daughter. Serene. Strong. Kind. And most importantly, knowing. In that moment, I believe she knew who Jaiden was and remembered the time that they lived together in that room in Yangdong. It was beautiful and no, we didn't have our cameras with us.

That memory of Eliza and Jaiden affects me as much as the memories of visiting Yangdong two years ago and leaving behind the beautiful children who were still waiting for families; the uncertainty of their lives and the fading promise of a family as they aged in the orphanage. It tugs at me. I was reminded of that today when I was looking at Kelly's blog and she posted some pictures I had taken that day in Yangdong of her daughter. Now I know why my heart has been led to the older children on the waiting lists...and one in particular that we're paperchasing for (can't tell you anything more yet). It's a tribute to my beautiful Eliza's heart that on this anniversary month, we're working to bring home a sister from China.

Spontaneous Moments!

2008-10-02T10:12:00.006-04:00

My beautiful little girl! Oh my, this face still melts my heart...

So, it's October. This month celebrates two years since Gotcha Day. I thought it would be fun to look back and post a few pictures over this month...some old favorites and some new. So, be on the watch!

One thing for sure, lately, Eliza has been doing some of the most spontaneous, beautiful things that clearly remind me to "enjoy the moment" and "take a look at what's around". In this picture below, we had just come home from the grocery store. Barney, of course, goes everywhere w/ us these days. Eliza loves getting a balloon at the grocery store so on this trip, the balloon was tied to Barney. Well, when we got home, she "jumped" out of the car (her favorite thing to do these days is to jump from high places). She ran over to the front yard and layed down w/ the biggest smile on her face. She watched the balloon wave in the gentle breeze. Sheer joy. Be still my heart! I had to get the camera...forget the groceries melting in the car!

Now seriously, stop and look at the above picture....Go ahead, look at it again. Do you remember being a kid and flopping down in the grass to gaze up at the clouds. I sure do. I remember laying there w/ my cat and dog and watching the clouds go by and the birds fly. I remember looking up into the trees and wishing I could climb to the very top. Do you remember feeling completely in that moment; completely happy and worry free? Ahhh, feels good doesn't it. Look at her straight legs, toes pointed, each hand holding Barney's, clutching Barney into her chest, as if to say, "I love you Barney, I love this place, I love everything and everyone"...you can't see her smile in this little picture, but I tell you, this picture, that moment, captures a peace-filled heart.

I've been meaning to post a picture of Eliza in her new (spare, back up) pair of glasses. These are dark, purple wire frames and flexible. I actually like these better. I think they fit her nicely. Pictures don't do them justice. They are very cute and very chic. I'm going to have to get some new glasses to keep up w/ her. Look past the toothpaste dribble on her shirt...every day now...ugh...the joys of her brushing her own teeth.

My tv junky!

2008-09-25T09:35:00.003-04:00

Okay, so my daughter walks in the door after school, drops her backpack, turns on the tv and jumps on the couch. No kidding! Here's some random shots of Eliza watching Barney or Berenstain Bears... And no, I didn't cue her to "smile for the camera". These smiles are for "Barney" and/or "Brother and Sister Bear"... Does it matter who the smiles are for? To me, they're priceless!

The next one is my favorite, at least on the big screen, because you can see her pudgy belly and she just looks so layed back...

Silly for Fall...

2008-09-22T12:11:00.003-04:00

Eliza still loves going to school. She came down w/ a cold around day 6, which slowed her down and made her a little out of sorts, but she gladly passed it onto mommy and was feeling much better by the end of the weekend! As for me, not so great.

We were teased w/ some gorgeous cooler weather over the weekend and of course, today is the first day of Fall. Hooray for that!

You know those first few days when you're trying to fight getting a cold and your body just feels run-down? Well, that was me yesterday. I gladly snuggled on the couch. Eliza feeling better, still wanted to snuggle in w/ me...sort of. She was being very silly. Clearly, she didn't understand that I was not feeling well. She was trying to tickle me, stick her finger up my nose, write in my Sudoku book, jump on my stomach. I guess it's not often that I'm sitting still long enough for her to enjoy tormenting me?! So, here's some rare photos taken of Eliza and I, dressed in our pumpkin colors as we celebrated the start of Fall. I looked better than I felt and you can thank Eliza for that!

E didn't like the substitute!

2008-09-13T16:09:00.003-04:00

(School lunch note #3 was a little note simply explaining to Eliza that today was Friday, the end of the school week, etc. and thanking her for being a big girl.)

Some Eliza "funnies" shared by her teacher's today:

Apparently Eliza did NOT like the substitute teacher that they had in the a.m. She was described to me as a very tall, very large and very loud woman. Hmmm (that was me, to them while they're telling me about this). Typically in the AU (autism) classes, the teachers are quiet and do a lot of kneeling down at the children's levels, etc. Well, not this sub, she was frightening both Eliza and the other newby. They said that Eliza's eyes were huge and she was climbing up the teacher's aides (both of them) like a monkey. Hmmm again. They said they almost called me to come and I'm glad that they didn't. One of the TA's took Eliza to the library where they picked out a Barney book and had some quiet time, then they took a walk and visited some of the K and 1st Grade classrooms. Awww! They said that they'll recommend not to use that sub for AU again. (Sorry substitute...)

Another thing they shared was how smart Eliza is and how quickly she's catching on. They use the PEC (picture exchange communication) system. That means that her calendar has velcroed PEC card (pictures) of each task that she will work on that day (that inclues a picture of a potty and lunch, etc.) Through out the day, each child is to take the next card off their own calendar and carry it, with them, to the appropriate "center" within the room. They said that Eliza already has figured out where each center is and how the system should work. In the afternoon, she had 2 tasks left on her calendar and at the very bottom is a card w/ a picture of a backpack (obviously meaning, time to go home). So, Eliza went to the calendar and took the next card, scanned her eyes to the bottom and grabbed the card w/ the backpack on it and handed it to the teacher. They laughed really hard and told her not yet. She put it back on, started to walk away, but went back and grabbed it again. So, they laughed and said not yet again. She wiggled her shoulders and upper body (her shy way of laughing) and did as she was told. They thought that was neat. I could picture everything. She does that when I say no to something she wants; she's persistent as if saying to me, "are you sure?". Pretty awesome!!

One of these days, I'm going to get a photo of her at pick up time. She's always dragging and so tired (she refuses to nap at school so far). Here's a picture I took at drop off in the morning though.

E loves school!

2008-09-13T15:52:00.004-04:00

School day #2 Lunch Note:

Today's lunch note,
Celebrates day two;
And like we talked about,
Smiles all the day thru.
So no tears today,
I'm always thinking of you;
And when the school day is over,
I'll be in the lobby again too!

Today, I didn't walk Eliza to her room. She was dropped off in the carpool line in front of the school. Her teacher opened the car door, said good morning, helped Eliza out and hand-in-hand they walked into the building. No tears, no looking back. My heart was both happy and melancholy today. With a hankering for Starbuck's though, I pulled away from the school and went to the grocery store and shopped enjoying a cup of coffee and the freedom to linger in the aisles a little bit. Ahhhh... As usual, I spotted two other Chinese girls w/ their moms (we have lots of China adoptions in our area) and I smiled and pouted for a minute, missing my daughter...

Eliza loves school and was happy to grab her backpack, wear it and go to school this morning. She was happy at pick up in the afternoon too. She continued to be full of herself, babbling and laughing into the early evening. Then, she crashed at 7:30 p.m. exhausted! She enjoys science (they are learning about tornadoes right now and how they swirl) and she loves story-time. As far as self-help skills, she is learning to wash her own face this week, in front of a mirror. All is great and I am so proud of her! She's amazing!!

First day of school!

2008-09-10T17:42:00.008-04:00

Today's Lunch Note:

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Your first lunch note,
From me to you.

Your first day of school,
I'm so proud of you,
Always remember,
Mommy loves you!

Eliza chose this morning of all mornings to sleep in. Can you believe I had to wake her at 8:00 a.m.? We've been talking about school for days and days. So, once awake, she was very excited this morning...full of herself, actually.

Once at school, she walked into the classroom and joined the circle. The other little ones all said "Hi". Then she turned around and gave me a hug and a little wimper, saying "e" (which means, Barney; I didn't let her bring him into class). I knelt down with her and participated in the activity until she turned back around to her classmates. She was immediately into what they were doing. Then, I snuck out the door and NO, I DIDN'T CRY. I actually smiled and felt very good about this new day for her. My mother laughed and told me that I was probably the only mom who didn't tear up. We laughed about that.

I thought about her all day and confess that I wanted to call the school to check on her. I actually did tear up though when I went back to pick her up and waited for the class in the lobby. (They release the pre-k first so they don't get swept up in the elementary school frenzy: those that have been in the carpool line know what I'm talking about!) Anyway, around the corner came Eliza's class with guess who, front and center, holding the teacher's hand. Yes! She was walking hand-in-hand, smiling and babbling really loud. What a site! Let's hope tomorrow brings the same excitement. Her teacher said she loved "science and the puppets", one of which the teacher made sure was Barney, the best! She only cried a little in the a.m. during the first hour.

As for me, I had a great day!

Update tonight and some other tidbits: Eliza has been chatting very LOUD tonight. Funny. She smiles when I talk about school. Note in the pictures that Eliza is always holding Barney's hand? Barney is the only "doll/animal" that she holds by the hands. Yesterday, she was watching Barney and started frantically looking around the family room. Next thing you know, she beat-feet upstairs and came down w/ Barney. Awww!!! Yes, she's turning into a tv junky. She turns on the tv all the time now.

While I was making dinner, I caught this. She never plays w/ these little people this way. She actually made them stand up and face each other. You can't see it here, but the little girl has a backpack on. Hmmm....I think she was making an important connection and maybe learned a little "social play" today... Could that be, already? I had tears in my eyes watching this.

E can see again!

2008-09-06T17:06:00.005-04:00

Glasses repaired...this time a strap was bought...SUCCESS! Two full days of keeping her glasses on and re-connecting w/ her toys, dolls and t.v. Hooray! Maybe that explains the giggle fit this afternoon? She was litterally laughing so hard that she was rolling on the floor. And no, no one was tickling her or provoking it. Yes, it was contagious!

Pumpkin Spice Latte, Tropical Storm Hannah and Housecall...

2008-09-06T16:20:00.008-04:00

Ahhhh, enjoying my first Starbuck's Pumpkin Spice Latte for the "fall" season...an annual favorite of mine. Of course, it was windy, cool and raining this morning thanks to T.S. Hannah, when we first entered Starbucks (in Target). After finishing our shopping, however, we walked out into the sunshine and UGH...HOT weather. Yuck! The storm moved on out while we were shopping. So, you could say that my spunky, "looking-forward-to-fall" mood quickly vanished. I did enjoy school shopping for Eliza though and buying everything on her "school supplies" list. Doing that put a little skip into my step as I imagined my little peanut growing up and actually going to school. I got a little twang in my heart too knowing I'd miss her. But then I started humming and remembered all the things I'll be able to get done and off I went daydreaming:

"I'll be able to weed all my flower beds and plant fall mums;

I'll be able to start working out and get a toned body;

I'll be able to go shopping and shopping and shopping;

I'll be able to try the clothes on IN the store;

I'll be able to leave the house w/out all the extras and at the moment I want to leave;

I'll be able to cook gourmet meals and bake luscious deserts;

I'll be able to..................ahhhhhh"

Okay, well maybe not ALL of that, but a girl can daycream, can't she? Dropping her off at 9:15; pick up at 3:45...The hours alone are enough to daydream about right there.

Only other update is that Eliza's new teacher made a house-call yesterday afternoon! She likes to come by and see the kids in the their home, play w/ them a bit and talk w/ the parents about their routine, what they need help with, what they enjoy doing, etc. Of course, all of that is in the report that she received, but she likes to make it more personal and to help the child make the connection of who she is in their familiar setting. I thought that was awesome. She spent almost 2 hours with us. She sat and played w/ Eliza and got lots of hugs and eye contact. She watched Eliza "listen" to and "follow directions" from Daddy and Mommy. She watched Eliza track our movements and what we were doing. She listened to Eliza babble and laugh. She was very impressed and feels really good about having Eliza in her class. Derek and I both gave her lots of kuddos for coming to the house to do this.

A smile is worth a 1000 words!

2008-09-04T20:54:00.003-04:00

happiness...

Happiness comes of the capacity to feel deeply,

to enjoy simply, to think freely,

to risk life,

to be needed.

Storme Jameson (1891-1986), English Writer

The phone rang during dinner tonight. It was Eliza's assigned teacher. (Read the previous post to be brought up to speed.) Her voice was so friendly and warm and JUST what I needed tonight.

Reassurance. Angsting over the previous days, days ahead, the choice of which school I had to make... The voice on the other end of the phone was a prayer answered: A confident and compassionate extended hand inviting Eliza and I to step into this next chapter.

She told me she had just received the e-mail from our caseworker assigning Eliza to her class and that she hadn't yet received Eliza's file yet. She said she was so excited to have a girl join the class that she wanted to call us right away. She didn't have any girls in her class last year and this year, she only had 3 boys. You know those boys are going to be loving having beautiful Eliza in the class. Hope she's not a distraction for those poor boys.

So, we chatted about Eliza and then she happened to mention that tonight was Open House. I told her I'd love to come over w/ Eliza, if that would be okay since she didn't have Eliza's file yet and she said, "Yes, definitely, come to the Open House." So Eliza and I quickly finished up dinner and drove to the elementary school...literally 5 minutes away. The parking lot was packed. Eliza got out of the car, had to bring Barney with her, but walked (which is a big deal; she'd rather be carried in new settings). She walked all the way down the sidewalk like a big girl, into the front doors, down the hallway and into the classroom. She looked Miss Robin in the eye and smiled. That was HUGE. She did get a little nervous and want to be picked up, but I held my ground and just got down to her level for reassurance. Then she started checking out her new classroom.

Eliza has a way of "knowing" things. Because she's not verbal, you often wonder if she's "getting it", but she is. She has very good receptive understanding, but also has this "knowing". So she fiddled around while Miss Robin and I talked about what to expect, all the while I knew she was listening to us. When we got home tonight, she was very content and smiled a lot. She went right up to bed and gave me a long, tight hug, then puckered her lips for a kiss. She held her gaze in my eyes for about 20 seconds. In those moments, I know she's trying to tell me something. Tonight, I think she was telling me that "we" were going to be okay. A difficult day turned happy.

ELEPHANT in the room and THIS and THAT

2008-09-04T17:16:00.007-04:00

I saw this on a beautiful blog today (catchingbutterfliestwo) and had to copy it here:

"To the world, you may be one person;
but to one person, you are the world!"

- Author unknown.

That really spoke to me for many reasons...more on that below.

Okay, so the ELEPHANT in the room. Eliza has been diagnosed w/ Autism. I'm putting it out here because it's something that I'm going to be writing a lot about and frankly, I want to, no need to talk about it. She will be starting school in an AU class (Autism only) next Wednesday, 5 days a week, traditional school hours. She was accepted into a great program offered thru our school system to those that qualified. It's intensive and she will be getting many different therapies in a social setting. The class size right now is only 4 children (including Eliza) w/ an Autism Special Ed teacher and two assistants. It's going to be a big change for her (and for me). My heart is still aching for my loss and for her loss, but I have to remain in the present and focused on helping her. Please pray for her.

Remember my desire to train Hogan to be a therapy dog once Eliza started school? Well, I've read about therapy dogs helping children w/ autism. Then I found out that our school system has a R.E.A.D. dog (a dog that visits schools and becomes an audience to children in speech therapy helping them read out loud and gain confidence from a "non-judgemental, compassionate and non-peer" spectator. I thought that was pretty cool and as Eliza goes thru the Autism program, who knows, maybe Hogan can travel to the AU classes and offer therapy assistance! Hmmm.... I'll need to get to work on that.

Some THIS and THAT: Before I forget, I updated my previous post (trip to Kansas) w/ some additional photos and edited what I had originally written. Check it out.

Also, Miss Eliza broke her glasses on our 2nd day in Kansas. She had been refusing to wear them for the week leading up to our trip. So in front of her old Yang girlfriends, she bent and twisted the arm all the way back and around. While they are the flexible kind, they're not that flexible. It was as if she was saying to me, "Ta da, mommy...now you can't make me wear them anymore in front of my friends." Hrumph...they are in the shop getting fixed. I'm also going to buy a back-up pair this time.

What else? Well, since being back home from our Kansas trip (which I still miss so much), I've been fostering 2 golden retriever puppies (now 10 weeks old) for the breeder that we got Hogan from. They are little brothers to Hogan and are so cute. One is a "keeper" (no, I'm not keeping him). He's as easy as Hogan and smart, already knows to sit in order to get a pet from me. The other one is a tubby. He jumps on me, has managed to catch my hen already, chases cats up trees, wants to run the pasture after the geese, swims in the baby pool. He's a hoot, but a handful. Hogan has been mothering (or brothering) them and is having a really good time being chased around by them. It's actually been fun. Fun in a sort of Grandma-way; I enjoy the "grandkids", but know they're going back home! Anyway, the reason I'm fostering is that the breeder and her husband finally went to Vietnam to bring home their twin baby girls. They are GORGEOUS!!!

Enjoy today's photos!

Reading to her two favorite dolls...

Not happy that I interrupted her.

Hogan and the two pups

"Together from the start; always in my heart!"

2008-08-27T10:26:00.007-04:00

Three girls together again...

Eliza, Jaiden and Emma

August 2008

Witchita, Kansas

Words cannot describe... seeing the 3 Yangdong daughters together; Eliza, Emma and Jaiden. Their lives once shared a common home, far away in China, in the same building, the same room. Through a red thread, their 3 moms connected, and a friendship began. Two years later, we (their 3 moms) made it happen...we brought the girls together again!

It was so fun; each so different, but yet sharing that same Yangdong spice..."sweet and spicey" as Megan says! Eliza, the youngest at 3, followed by Jaiden at 3.5 and Emma at 4. What an amazing time we had watching, laughing, breaking up fights, hearing "I sorry"; hearing giggles and checking in to see what they were up to, sharing mom conversations and experiences.

To add to the bliss, we met up w/ Tami and her 2 daughters, Amy and Anna, both from Yangjiang (where Yangdong SWI resides), but from neighboring SWI's. All 5 "Yang" girls gathered at a playground and talk about CUTE!!!!! ....Words just cannot describe... maybe the few pictures will help.

Ring Around the Rosey

At the zoo

No description needed!

Eliza, Jaiden and Emma...

Hairbands and glasses!

The Mom's
Megan (Emma's), Sarah (Eliza's) and Julie (Jaiden's)
August 2008
Witchita, Kansas

The 5 Yang girls...Emma, Jaiden, Eliza (back), Anna and Amy!

Eliza and mommy (a rare photo)...thanks Tami!

So hard to say goodbye...already planning reunion #2!

Our Zoo trip!

2008-08-13T13:16:00.003-04:00

Pictures from our "day-cation" to the zoo in Asheboro, North Carolina, last Friday, August 8th. We met my brother's family from Charlotte there. What a great, great day. Lots of walking, but beautiful.

About the zoo (from their website): "Our NC Zoo is nationally recognized as one of the nation’s finest zoos. It was the first American zoo designed from its inception around the "natural habitat" philosophy--presenting animals and plants in exhibits that closely resemble the habitats in which they would be found in the wild. The 37-acre African Plains exhibit alone is as large a many entire zoos. The 11-acre Prairie exhibit in the North American region showcases the zoo’s collection of bison and elk. The N.C. Zoo is also the nation’s largest walk-through natural-habitat zoo. Its African and North American exhibit regions span more than 500 acres with more than five miles of walkways. Another 900 acres are available for future development on this scenic site in the Uwharrie Mountains, considered by geologists to be one of the world’s oldest mountain ranges. "

Eliza loved the zoo...North America more than Africa...due to the many aquatic exhibits. She couldn't get enough of the various "ish" (fish) and "ing" (swimming). Yes, she's making progress on her words. She also kept saying "out" to get out of the stroller and run. Her absolute favorite and what I didn't get a picture of though, was the meerkats. They put on quite a show, wrestling and hissing at one another. Then they'd stop and look up at the glass to make sure they still had an audience and wrestle some more. It was very cute and funny. Eliza stood at the glass window for a long time laughing out loud and hissing back at them. A fun day after a whiney week!

If only she could get inside that tank and swim!
Cousin Luke...it's a little scary when these big sea lions press right up on the glass!

Waiting for the merry-go-round to start...
Here we go...whee!

Couldn't help noticing how LONG Allie's legs are.
How 'bout this shot...how cool is that...look at his paws and claws!
This ocelot was so beautiful...an amazing coat.

Okay, getting tired here (notice the glasses are off).
Getting more tired and less thrilled...but this is funny!
Okay, she's out...and the day is over!

Moments of reflection

2008-07-30T11:27:00.003-04:00

So, first of all, I'm going to be closing out my "journey to me" journal site, which was the start of my journaling for Eliza. It's bittersweet to me. It's the place that I chronicled life just before Eliza, thoughts about Eliza and of course, our China trip. It's the place that I kept up w/ being at home w/ Eliza and it's one of my favorite places to look at and re-read...over and over. * * My how she has grown since being that little peanut! * * I'm going to have it printed on CD and I'm debating about whether I pay the fee for a Keepsake Book. I've decided that I'll close that journal after the last entry in August, which will be...TA DA... Eliza's and my trip to Kansas to spend a few days w/ 2 of our Yangdong family friends (Megan and daughter Emma; Julie, from Oregon, and daughter Jaiden). I think that will appropriately be a full circle moment for both Eliza and myself.

Eliza's referral photo...taken approx July 2005

Eliza today...July 2008!

I've realized I'm not much of a photographer...that or my camera just stinks. Two other Yangdong family friends whose blogs I enjoy catching up on (Tiffany and Kelly) are quite the photographers...colors, lighting, of course their "subjects" are so photogenic too. Anyway, I've been trying to capture the sunflowers in bloom and our hen, Emma, posing (rousting) at dawn next to them, but couldn't quite do it justice.

Everyone keeps asking me if I've noticed a difference w/ Eliza having glasses. Yes, definitely! She is actually watching tv now and she is enjoying her puzzles. Don't think I'm not going to let this child sit and watch a tv program either. It's long overdue and a joy for me to see her "watching" the program. Of course, having a 3 year old home all day, it's a nice distraction for me to be able to get some things done too!!

Eliza watching Barney!!!!

While I was posting...

2008-07-25T12:30:00.003-04:00

While I was posting the last entry, it dawned on me that the room got very quiet. (Eliza was watching Berenstein Bear's and bouncing on the couch.) I turned to look for her and found her sound asleep in a sitting position on the couch...it's only noon?

Here's a photo of Hogan and Allie. Allie has grown so tall and filled out over the summer. She's the best big sister too. She has earned quite a bit of money babysitting (her sister) this summer, giving Derek and I golf time. We're playing in a Friday night couple's league. Allie has also been reluctantly selling her old horse things on craigs list (saddle, helmet, boots, etc.). She's been very brave during this transition time. She was so sweet, she bought me a t-shirt from our local Feed Store yesterday. It has a horse's face on it w/ a ring of flowers framing the horse. The horse looks exactly like Clark. She said it was the only one and was the first shirt she saw when she went into the store. She said it was a sign from Clark. How precious!

Just a little Clark story to share...we bought him shortly after moving to the farm. When we brought him home, he settled in as if he'd lived here before. I had my show horse "Louie" (Louis) at the time and Clark's name, when we bought him, was CJ. So, because he settled so quickly and was so great on the trails, we named him Clark...after Louis and Clark. Well, some months went by and we were cleaning out one of the many sheds on the property. We came across an oil painting, sitting high on the shelf in the shed, it was done by the young girl who lived on the farm before us. It was a very, very good painting of a horse. Well, guess who the horse looked like? You got it, Clark. So, from then on, we decided that perhaps Clark had lived here before? Who knows?? Either way, he lived a happy life here and gave our (then) little girl lots of happy memories. Thanks for taking such good care of Allie, Clark!

Seeing well...

2008-07-25T11:32:00.006-04:00

Eliza is doing great keeping her glasses on. This was the first week at The Little Gym that she had her glasses and boy did she improve; finally loving the balance beam. Before this, she was a little afraid of the height; I'm sure now, it was because she couldn't see well. She also got into the obstacle course more than ever this week.

I'm only finding the glasses left around the house once or twice a day (oy...note to self, buy a brighter, colored pair next time). Boy do her eyes look tired when she takes them off and isn't wearing them. She rubs and rubs at her eyes when her glasses are off. It's so funny watching her push them up on her nose to adjust them. (We've had to get them adjusted a few times; I think we've got it now. Gotta love her tiny little flat nose!)

So, on the Eliza, Hogan and I front, we have been enjoying our morning walks together. Sadie is just too old to handle a daily jaunt anymore. Hogan is doing great on leash and following the heel command. He walks right beside the jogger and sits when we stop. I've taught him to sit when a car approaches, other walkers, joggers, dogs approach. I especially wanted him to get used to walking beside the jogger so that when he is in "therapy" dog mode and we're visiting hospitals or nursing homes, he won't be bothered by the wheelchairs and won't try to climb up on people either. (My 12 yo lab, still has to walk in front of or criss-cross the jogger.) He has been so easy to train and is the most obedient dog. He's only 7 months old. He adores Eliza too. The two of them are always together. It's really special to watch.

See Miss E...now you can see!

2008-07-17T21:40:00.003-04:00

E-Highlights for the week:

"Ta da...Eliza got her eyeglasses today!"

Okay, Eliza officially wears glasses now. When she first put them on in the office, she immediately began looking around and smiled so bright. The prescription is a lot stronger than I thought, in the left eye. It's amazing how poor her vision is. She then began taking them off and putting them back on. Then she began keeping them on, but looking over the top as they'd slide down her nose. (We have to get them adjusted better. Any suggestions on how to keep glasses on a little flat-bridged nose?) At home, she kept them on the entire afternoon and evening. It was so fun watching her explore the house and her toy cabinet as if she was looking at so many things, literally, for the first time. Pretty cool.

"Mom, E and big Sis finally saw Kung Fu Panda!"

As predicted, Eliza loved it! As for Mom and big Sis, not so much. Okay, it was pretty good, but more violent and loud than we had expected. It was good though, don't get me wrong. Eliza didn't seem to mind the violence or the thundering noises. In fact, she was out of her seat and standing, practicing right along w/ the leg and arm movements and shouting "eyah". Allie and I were laughing so hard. It was very cute! She watched the entire movie. Later, I found a dancing-singing hamster at the drugstore, dressed as a Kung Fu warrior and when you squeeze his hand, he sings (in hamster voice), "Everybody was Kung Fu fighting..." I had to get it for her. It's her favorite toy right now.

...And that's the E highlights for the week so far~!

Another chapter closes

2008-07-09T21:27:00.005-04:00

I dread writing that I wish for a year to be over when we're only 7 months into it, but it's true. 2008 has been a pain-filled year with the passing of our 16 year old golden retriever, Meg; a month later my dad, and just this 4th of July weekend, our dear old horse, Clark. Can you believe it?

Allie and (unflattering fat photo of) Clark...a year ago.
Such a good boy...bareback, no bit, just a halter...one of the best kind!
Allie, Clark and Georgie Girl - April '07

So, Clark rebounded from an illness a few months ago, we think a snake bite, only to end up blind. This weekend, he had a stroke; spent the weekend getting into the pond, disoriented and couldn't find his way out. We had to "fish" him out twice...not an easy task when the "fish" is 1000 pounds and resisting you. We had hoped he'd pass on his own, but Monday we ended up calling the vet to put him down. She confirmed that he most likely had a brain tumor, evidenced by his "floating eyes". Clark was Allie's horse; her childhood best-friend, she told me the other day. So, while I'm grieving yet again (c'mon already), I'm also grieving for Allie and also for our now alone horse, Georgie Girl, who is still calling out for Clark and refuses to come down to the barn. We're all a mess...

Trying to stay focused on each day and all the blessings that we have. The farm is back on the market. We are definitely ready to move on and take our happy, favorite memories with us; pass the farm onto the next family who will love it as much as we did. Hubby is very happy to give up the farm work, expenses, horses, etc., and have me join him on the golf course again (which was our first date and what brought us together those many...11 years ago). So, I've picked golf back up again and must admit that it feels good to be playing again. My joints definitely feel stiff and I don't have the swing I used to, but I can still hit the ball. Eliza has enjoyed riding in the golf cart with us on a few early evening outings. She'd rather run barefoot all over the fairways and green then swing a club though right now. Can you blame her? So, while we're not committing to any house until we sell the farm, we've been looking at some on the golf course. Could be a problem w/out a fence though...between Hogan wanting to chase golf balls (thank you to Brendan who currently uses our horse pasture as his personal driving range and has trained Hogan to retrieve his shots) and Eliza who loves running free and has been used to the wide open farm.

Update on her preschool services evaluations: she passed the hearing test, no problem. She definitely needs eyeglasses due to astigmatism in both eyes, severe hyperopia in her left and slightly in her right, and at risk for amblyopia. So, with hope that she'll keep her glasses on (ha, ha, ha), her visual development will hopefully kick in. We'll see. We have some cute, snazzy frames on order to try on...of course, dusty pink or lavendar will be the colors of choice. I pick them up tomorrow for a fitting; then they'll fill the prescription and she should have her glasses by next week. That's going to be interesting. I'll be sure to post pictures.

Okay, well that's all from here...that's enough, isn't it? Pool, golf, house showings...keeps me hopping everyday!

While the mouse is away...

2008-06-10T13:37:00.006-04:00

So, I'm sitting here updating the blog and little "e" is supposed to be napping. All was quiet for about 10 minutes until..."thud...thud...thud...thud..." Because she looks so darn cute today and has been full of herself all morning, I decided to take the camera. This is what I caught!

Now, I realize that it appears by this blog, that Eliza is always jumping and climbing and on-the-go, well... she is, 95% of the time! I also realize that it probably looks like I run a loose ship, well...I don't. She does have her quiet and behaving moments and they revolve around having a tea party, playing w/ her doll house and of course, books. Today, I caught her getting into the pool bag, taking out a swim diaper and working hard to put it on all by herself; she did it, over her other diaper, mind you. Of course, the pool's not open until this afternoon, but she obviously wanted to get going! I didn't dare take it off until nap time because I was so proud of her for doing it ...Today is the fourth day of 100 plus temps...and it's only June?!

On another note, look how much Hogan has grown since February! I can hardly remember him being that small. He is outside picking up and "throwing" his tennis ball at the sliding door, of which I'm sitting on the opposite side of trying to finish this blog. I'll tell ya, do I ever get any me time?!

Then, with sweet old Meg, who passed away...

Today...4 months later!

School's out for the summer!

2008-06-09T21:41:00.003-04:00

Swimming w/ the big kids in the 5 ft section!
So independent...
Kept trying to swim away from the camera and daddy in the pool!!!

Just a quick post. Our meeting w/ the preschool services at our school system last week went well. We have more evaluations pending still as well as an audiology screening and an appt w/ a pediatric othamologist. Eliza failed the vision screening that they performed at the meeting. A "crescent" appeared in both eyes with their MTI photoscreening camera. This indicates that she probably has a vision impairment w/ either near or farsightedness. So the appt w/ the opthamologist will clear that up and whether she'll need glasses or not going forward. Don't know how I'll keep glasses on her since these days she won't keep sunglasses on or even keep a clip in her hair?!

As for the pool this summer, she's a fish! Today, she enjoyed being tossed into the air and under the water she'd go. Hmmm... She is so tan already and with the 103 degree days we've had already, I'm happy to be in the pool with her. Hope you're all staying cool!

Simply "E"

2008-06-05T14:57:00.004-04:00

Covered bridge Derek I visited on way to Charlotte...

"Simplicity is the glory of expression." Walt Whitman

Tomorrow we will be meeting Eliza's early intervention case worker and the pre-k special ed teacher to outline Eliza's "classes" (therapies). In preparation, I've been spending the last two days making notes about Eliza's likes, dislikes, successes, areas that she is lagging in, etc. I'm also craving a good, short novel because I spend all my reading time trying to better understand how I can help Eliza blossom. My head is spinning and I need a good distraction. Anyone have any recommendations?!

Eliza is still non-verbal and that is our biggest challenge. She seems to understand the receptive end of our communcation, but now I'm wondering if it's the "routine" that she's understanding. Truth be told, my heart hurts most days because I feel like I'm a failure. I know that's not true, but let's face it, what parent doesn't have that expectation that they'll be able to teach their child to talk? I love when people tell me to practice the ABC's or counting or say her name, the word mom, etc... all day long. As if I'm not already doing all that. I smile politely. I've tried babysigning too. Eliza hates it and gets really angry with me when I try that. She shakes her head no, clenches her jaw and looks at me like, "What's your problem, don't you get me?"

She is so smart and she is so strong-willed. One moment, still a baby needing me and my encouragement; the next minute wanting to figure something out on her own. The other week, Eliza and I were visiting my friend who came home with her 8 yo daughter, Lucy Jing, from China recently. Eliza was chattering something while my friend and I were visiting. My friend asked what she was saying because her new daughter sounds like that too (a sound like, "doy, doy, doy, ding, doy, ding...") I looked at her and said, "I thought it was just baby talk. Do you mean she could honestly be saying something in Chinese?" I hadn't even thought of that because she didn't make a sound for the first year home. I thought for sure, by now, once she started making noises, it would be english. As our caseworker told us though, english is her second language. While she wasn't speaking yet, for the first 20 months, she heard her native/primary langauge. As for why some children come home from China and begin speaking english, she said that it's similar to adults who can not speak multiple languages. They're brains are wired differently. Some people are creative and good in the arts; others are math and science, etc. We'll see...

There's always her laughter and probably the reason that I'm so game to take her to fun parks, the pool, skating, etc...it's at these places that I "hear" her thru her laugh and feel her heart sing. I suppose I'm also looking for something that will spark a word. She's most vocal in the pool (sounds, not words). We can't use the arm floaties at our pool this year, so life vest secured, Eliza is venturing out of the baby area of the pool now. She spent yesterday afternoon, in the deep end, kicking away and didn't want me holding her. The big kids were jumping, diving, playing a game of football... all around her. I was so afraid for her. I kept trying to bring her back into the shallow end. She would turn right around, lift the rope and swim under it. Yet, the day before, she was petrified for either of us to let her go! With that said, I'm anxious for her "classes" to start, but worried too. What if? I know she hates being pushed and I'm worried about why she isn't speaking yet.

One of life's greatest lessons in parenting, I suppose, is altering our expectations and building on the realities. This non-verbal reality is something that I've been pondering and praying on every day, all day, 7 days a week, month, year, etc. I'm turning this over, to God, and to the experts...and that's hard for me (not the God part). As a mom, it's hard not to be the "all" for your child when they're so young. As a mom, I have to re-define my value. That makes me sad right now, but I hope in time to find peace in it.

Jump Zone Pictures, Random Thoughts and Dreams

2008-05-31T08:01:00.008-04:00

Second visit to the Jump Zone! She was just laughing...
Firetruck is Eliza's favorite...
Goes up the ladder all by herself...much steeper than it looks!
Ready, set, go...
Whee....
Zoom!!!!!!!

A few more random thoughts:

I write way too much in my posts; I need to post more frequently so that there's less to say!...

Kung Fu Panda opens on the big screen next Friday, June 6th so, of course, Eliza and I have a date!...

Hogan is growing into the most handsome golden that I've seen; should we neuter him?...I think, yes...

The gas price is frightening and is seriously impacting our usual summer weekend get-aways; $4.04 to fill up the jeep yesterday...

Eliza loves the piano and violin. She's mesmerized by both instruments. Her hands naturally fall to the keys on a piano...
Which leads me to this, we're probably going to try to list the farm again so we can get a larger house and a piano again (I miss playing myself)...

Our hen, Emma, coming up to tell us she layed her egg!

So, I have been having such vivid dreams since my dad passed away. I was at his side when he died and seem to dream about him every night. My mom says it's because I was w/ him when he passed away. Even though the dreams are happy, I wake up sad. Last night I had a dream that we were all together (mom, siblings, grandkids) for Christmas and we were getting all the decorations out. I came across a box that said, "Property of D. L. Chantry" and it was my dad's handwriting. I woke up and I could see it so clearly, his handwriting. The interesting thing about that dream is that my father lost his ability to write about 4 years ago. I told my mom that in each of my dreams, it's almost as if I'm putting back the pieces of dad that he lost. I don't know why I had a dream about his handwriting...but it was so good to see it...if even in my dream.

Into the summer we swim!

2008-05-27T12:25:00.006-04:00

(Good boy, Hogan!...Isn't he gorgeous?)

Memorial Day weekend brought the opening of our pool (the golf club's pool, that is). While the middle of the country was suffering terrible, frightening tornadoes, we actually had beautiful "Carolina" skies and weather. We spent a few hours each day at the pool and Eliza slid right into her love of the water. No fear, no hesitation; even w/ cold, cold water! Of course, that meant I had to go in too! She loves swimming. Every 50 minutes the lifeguards blow the whistle for break time (and adult swim) and it's all I can do to get her out of the water! I didn't bring my camera so no pics. I was amazed and, admittedly a little teary-eyed, at how much she's grown since our first summer together last year. She has gotten so tall that she now wears a 4T in bathing suit...how did that happen? Last year, she was in 2T. She is also much more observant of the other swimmers this year. She was watching the bigger kids dive and swim under the water and she'd shake her head no...like "no way, how did they do that?" It was hilarious. Then, she'd stand on the bottom step and hold her arms out in front of her in the dive position; then she'd back up and shake her head no again. I was cracking up. So cute. I just know that she's going to be a great swimmer.
(Helping himself to Dolly, while she's distracted!)

So, on another note, Derek "gave" me a day off from mommy duty on Saturday. Did I spend it going shopping or out to lunch with friends? No, I spent the entire day on the tractor mowing pastures. Ha, ha...You see, pre-"miss E", I was operating a horse farm on this property...boarders, lessons, the upkeep. A big job mind you. I don't miss most of it and I love spending my days with Eliza. But I do miss, some days, the alone time and freedom. So, yes, most days on a day off, I'd like to go shopping or have a girl lunch, etc., but some days, I honestly would rather have everyone leave the house so I can clean uninterrupted. Well, today, I just wanted to get the farm back to looking as picturesque as it used to. So at 7:15 a.m. I got on the tractor and didn't finish until 3:00. Every bit of the 12 acres finished and it looks so gorgeous. I used to spend hours on the tractor in the old days, day-dreaming about what Eliza was going to be like, watching the horses interract. I was a bit melancholy while mowing on Saturday. Remembering my sweet horses that I gave up for Eliza; remembering the waiting time for Eliza. Remembering what it used to feel like to ride all over the farm w/ a young rider next to me, giving a lesson, and knowing inside and out, the buttons on my lesson horses. We have only 2 horses now. Both are retired. As I was mowing, the pastures felt so large and empty. It did feel good getting caught up, but I definitely came inside and thought, that's a job for hubby and son, not mom anymore! Ha, ha, ha...
(Uh, oh...caught!)

Lastly, a few random thoughts: don't forget the senior citizens. We spend our young lives being kids and experiencing Memorial Day holidays at picnics, parades, family gatherings. Then we spend our married years setting up those traditions for our own children and hopefully, our aged parents come visit and share in it all. What about the ones that can't get to their families? My mother reminded me this morning that holidays are sad and lonely for the seniors living in her adult residential community. They feel left out and forgotten. ***I am going to look into how I can be more involved with a senior center in our area.*** I originally, planned on training Hogan to be a therapy dog (when Eliza gets into school). I wanted to take him to nursing homes and children's hospitals. That's still my plan, but in the meantime, I need to do something now. I'll have to think on that...any ideas? Maybe I can just volunteer to read a book to some seniors?
(Notice she's on her feet...mad!)

My other random thought: if you didn't already know, we started the process to adopt again. Have only accomplished the fingerprinting. I haven't collected any other documents yet. Much slower at this the second time around! Anyway, while mowing, pre-"Miss E", I used to see purple butterflies and (of course) ladybugs. So, purple was Eliza's color and I always felt that her spirit was with me when I'd see a purple butterfly. Well, the other day while mowing, I was seeing yellow butterflies and (of course) tons of ladybugs. Hmmm.... Also, my neighbors came over to fish from our pond w/ their stroller and their 3 month old baby. I went out to say hi and noticed that there were ladybugs all OVER their stroller. It was wild. I got chills. I feel a quiet and peacefulness towards this next adoption. It is such a different feeling from Eliza's adoption. Anyway, those are my random thoughts.
(I'm sorry Mom, I really am a good boy.)

Mischievous, May hail and Lucy Jing!

2008-05-20T18:05:00.005-04:00

Okay, how can one child keep me on the go and saying "no" a hundred times a day? I feel like a chicken w/ her head cut off most days. Eliza is fast...she could be sitting quietly reading and the next second, she's on top of something. Why am I so tired at night that often I lavish going to bed the second she is tucked in? Why can't I get a thing done? How did my mom manage to be a stay-at-home raising 10 of us?...These are just some of the thoughts I have on a daily basis. The other thoughts revolve around how totally in love and in awe I am of this child; how funny...and I mean hysterically funny she is; and how much I love being a mom. So, that said, I thought if I shared some photos of the many mischievous "jumping, climbing and helping herself to food" that Eliza has been into these days, someone can help me find the humor, rather than the...let's see: frustration, annoyance, danger... Well, you get what I'm saying. So, here's the photos, in no particular order. And I PROMISE, these are all no-no's, even though my snapping photos probably reinforced that this was cute?!

Next topic: We had hail this afternoon. In a matter of 5 minutes, the temps dropped from 80 to 68; a terrible storm blew in, rain, winds, thunder & lightening and yes, hail! I hate storms as it is because they always get the horses running and I worry that one will slip and break a leg. I hate lightening because we're so exposed and have actually had a tree out in the pasture get hit once. But this afternoon was a first. Watching my 2 hens (Hannah and Emma) run for cover from the hail. It was pitiful. I felt like Aunty Em in the "Wizard of Oz" calling for them to hurry, "'cause it's twistin and turn'in and comin this way". On top of that I had to watch my jeep get pelted, my beautiful gardens get destroyed. Here's some photos (unfortunately, I didn't get any of the hens, I was too busy calling for them...oh, and they're fine, by the way).

Lastly, friends of ours have been in China for the past couple of weeks adopting their second daughter (first was domestic). This time, they adopted an older child; Jing is 8. They wanted their two daughters to be close in age. They've been in the process for over 3 years. So, you can imagine when they started this, they were thinking a child around 4...as the years went on and their "desired age" went up, to keep up with their own daughter, they were filled with anxiety and concerns about adopting an older child. They prepared...and never thought they would be so blessed. Lucy Jing is doing wonderfully and they all blended so perfectly. They've had a great time in China. You can imagine what a great gift for Lucy Jing to be able to see so much of her birth country than she probably ever would have. She's going to have a wonderful life with her new family. Eliza and I can't wait to meet her. More on that when the day comes.

Roller Derby Princess!

2008-05-14T15:37:00.005-04:00

One of my favorite things about being a mom is introducing Eliza to new things. Let's face it, even mom's get bored doing the same hum-drum things every day right, so why wouldn't the kids? At my dad's funeral, my siblings and I spent a lot of time reminiscing and one of the things we all remembered and cherished was...

Mom (or Dad) would back the cars out of my dad's perfectly clean and organized 2 car garage so that we could rollerskate. We'd play the 45 speed records (showing my age) and skate to our favorite song! What fun that was. We'd whip each other around in a chain; we'd play chase; or we'd just pretend that we were Olympic gold medalists in rollerskating.

So, as I watch Eliza grow up... and "grow out" of so many of her toys, I'm constantly looking for something new to entertain her. These days, she's into things that move, running, climbing, jumping and being as close to me as she can. She still enjoys her books, mind you, but sitting and playing w/ toys is not any fun anymore. So, I found these skates and though she looks very serious in these pictures, when the camera wasn't on, she was laughing and smiling. She actually took to them very naturally. She can balance on one skate while lifting one leg high in the air; she can hold onto a chair and twist herself left and right. What a hoot! (Oh, and I do have a helmet & pads...which she will be wearing now that I know she's doing gymnastic moves while skating!)

When I reviewed these pictures, I couldn't get over how grown up she looked to me. Could just be the fact that the skates added about 3 inches to her?! We may have to try the rollerskating rink where big sis likes to go every Friday night...of course, mom would have to put on rollerskates and skate beside her, which could be interesting?! Oh, and I guess they don't use rollerskates anymore, it's blades right; or is it quads...? That shows my age too. Shshhhh!

At today's annual physical...Eliza weighed in at 31.2 lbs and 38 inches tall. Almost at the 75th percentile!

Mother's Day...for a real mom

2008-05-12T14:08:00.007-04:00

5 month old Hogan...
waiting for the man who fills these
shoes to come back outside and play!

Determined to ride the scooter like the big kids!

Helping mom wash dishes...
her favorite thing these days!

So, I'm giving this blogger world a try...that means all you blog experts out there, feel free to help me out when you see my mistakes or struggles! I thought it would be appropriate to start with a Mother's Day entry, so here it is:

I had my first "who's her real mommy" experience. I had read about these discussions; I had even thought I was prepared for how to answer it. When it happens though, I suppose it's never an appropriate time for that "prepared answer". On the flip-side, Eliza did something so amazing while this was happening that it left me glowing through Mother's Day!

So, let me tell you what happened. We were at Chick Fil A, both Mommy, Daddy and Eliza, enjoying some inside playtime. This is our favorite place. So, this boy walks up and asks if I'm Eliza's mommy. My reply, with a warm smile, "Yes." "Is she Indian?" "No, she's Chinese-American" (again with a warm smile, as other parents are listening in). "Who's her Daddy?" Daddy speaks up and proudly claims the role and then tells the boy that Eliza was adopted from China. So, then the boy says, "Where's her real mommy." Now, I'm feeling annoyed. I told him that I'm her real mommy. He argues back, "No, her real mommy." I said, "Do you mean the woman that gave birth to her (realizing that was probably way over his head and immediately feeling embarassed)? He looked at me and said, "Her mother in China. You not her mother." I said, "I am her mother. She is my daughter. Where is your mother?" He paused then said, "When are you going to take her back to her mother so she can see her." YIKES!!!!! I said, "We don't know who Eliza's birth family is. We are her family and we will always be together."

I excused myself from the conversation. I was shaking. I know my face was probably flushed. Wouldn't you know it, in those moments, when you don't think your toddler understands anything you're saying, they can do the most amazing things. During this conversation, Eliza kept coming down the slide and looking for acknowledgement from me at her accomplishment (I'm usually telling her what a good job she's doing, squeeling about how fun that looked, how fast, etc.). So, she came down the slide, came over to me and looked me right in the eyes and kissed me on the lips. She then began doing it every time she came down the slide. She'd come over with the biggest smile, lean in and kiss me on the lips. It was the sweetest kiss! The best affirmation! I don't know whether she understood what we were talking about or whether she was just so happy and realized I wasn't paying attention to her or what...??? But, the timing was perfect and it was also the first time that Eliza had EVER done that, spontaneously. It certainly got all the "awes" from the other parents watching and listening. How 'bout that! That was THE best Mother's Day gift I could've received.

October is here!

2007-10-05T22:20:00.001-04:00

Trying so hard to get a great fall picture of Eliza, dressed in pumpkin orange. Didn't have much luck. Maybe I'll have better luck when we can get out around a pumpkin patch.

It all started here...

2006-08-29T18:39:00.001-04:00

It all started here; no, not really. Everyone's adoption story is personal and their own journey. Though so much is the same for us, I've also found that it's dynamic as you go through the process and the eventual being at home with your child. At least for me it has been. There were so many important milestones along the way; so many red threads; so many "wow" moments. As life goes on though, like everything, they fade and are replaced by the most current event. The best part of journaling this way for me has been two-fold: It's been a way for me to look back and re-visit those amazing moments in time; and it's also been a way for me to share with other mom's along the way... So, I started an on-line journal, like most parents do, during the paperchase for Eliza and throughout our time in China. I continued that journal well after being home. I finally decided it was time to do the blog thing. So, even though I had created this page nearly 2 years ago, it wasn't until just recently (May 2008) that I got back to this blog. The funny thing is, it all started with the illustration of the letter "e" and the beautiful little asian girl. I knew her name before I knew her; I knew her face before I knew her...a gift that this journey gave me. Enjoy!